Saturday, June 7, 2014

Wrong Worship CD

 It's hard to find music that everyone can agree on. Dr. Dobson said he got more mail on music they played than on any other subject. I found this video called Wrong Worship CD and am posting this blog label under humor-church. I am glad we can have humor in Church. I also posted some hymns below to give equal time to and for those who cannot view the video. I hope you find your favorite.
The Dentist’s Hymn……………………Crown Him With Many Crowns
The Weatherman’s Hymn………..There Shall Be Showers of Blessing
The Contractor’s Hymn………………….The Church’s One Foundation
The Tailor’s Hymn…………………………………………Holy,Holy, Holy
The Golfer’s Hymn………………………There is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician’s Hymn…………………………Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist’s Hymn……………….Open My Eyes That I Might See
The IRS Agent’s Hymn………………………………………I Surrender All
The Gossip’s Hymn………………………………………………..Pass It On
The Electrician’s Hymn……………………………………..Send the Light
The Shopper’s Hymn……………………………………….Sweet By and By
The Realtor’s Hymn…………I’ve Got A Mansion Just Over the Hilltop
The Pilot’s Hymn………………………………………………..I’ll Fly Away
The Paramedic’s Hymn……………………………………Revive Us Again
The Judge’s Hymn……………………………………….Almost Persuaded
The Psychiatrist’s Hymn………………….Just A Little Talk With Jesus
The Architect’s Hymn…………………………..How Firm A Foundation
The Credit Card Telemarketer’s Hymn………A Charge To Keep I Have
The Zookeeper’s Hymn………………..All Creatures of Our God & King
The Postal Worker’s Hymn………………………………….So Send I You
The Waiter’s Hymn………………………………………Fill My Cup, Lord
The Gardener’s Hymn…………………..Lo, How A Rose E’er Blooming
The Lifeguard’s Hymn……………………………….Rescue the Perishing
The Criminal’s Hymn……………………………………Search Me, O God
The Baker’s Hymn………………….When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder
The Shoe Repairer’s Hymn………………………It Is Well With My Soul
The Travel Agent’s Hymn………………………….Anywhere With Jesus
The Geologist’s Hymn…………………………………………Rock of Ages
The Hematologist’s Hymn………………Are You Washed in the Blood?
The Menswear Clerk’s Hymn……………………………..Blest Be the Tie
The Umpire’s Hymn………………………….I Need No Other Argument
The Librarian’s Hymn…………………………………..Whispering Hope

Now, for those who enjoy speeding, a few hymns for you:
45 mph…………………………………………..God Will Take Care of You
55 mph………………………………….....Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65 mph……………………………………………….Nearer My God to Thee
75 mph…………………………………………………….Nearer Still Nearer
85 mph………………………………………....This World Is Not My Home
95 mph……………………………………………..Lord, I’m Coming Home
Over 100 mph……………………………………………Precious Memories

Now available! REVISED GOSPEL HYMNS for today's generation of modern churchgoers. The old favorites can now be sung without guilt, conviction, or discomfort. Hundreds of your old favorites made comfortable. Some of the titles include:
"Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound"
"Lord, Keep Us Loosely Connected to Your Word"
"Praise God from whom All Affirmations Flow"
"Pillow of Ages, Fluffed for Me"
"When Peace, Like a Trickle"
"We Give Thee but Still Think We Own"
"What an Acquaintance We Have in Jesus"
"We Are Milling Around in the Light of God"
"Blest Be the Tie that Doesn't Cramp My Style"
"I Surrender Some" "Standing on the Premises" "Sweet Minute of Prayer"
"Blessed Insurance"
"Come We That Like the Lord"
"Onward, Social Workers"
"Avoid the Good Fight"
"The Gold-Plated Cross"
"Some for Jesus"
 "I Have My Own Way"
and the all-time children's favorite: "I Love Me"

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