Sunday, September 28, 2014

Two Comics Walk Into A Church

I believe God is the author of Joy and laughter is like a medicine. Sometimes I think I take life too seriously and forget to laugh enough.  Today is a laugh day for me. And below  I posted some reasons laughter is good for you!
Benefits of Laughing
Laughing is not just related to facial expressions, but it causes a number of chemical changes within the body. Good hearty laughter helps release enzymes and hormones that are helpful for normal functioning of various organs. This is due to a connection between laughing and stimulation of brain and different glands. Laughter enhances the body to release natural antihistamines. It also activates T-cells, a natural anti-biotic produced in the body. It helps boost the immune system and fight infections. It prevents numerous diseases by strengthening the immune system.

Laughter reduces the levels of certain hormones, namely cortisol, growth hormone, epinephrine and dopac, which are associated with stress response. Thus it helps relieve stress, depression, anxiety, grief, anger and irritation. Laughing also decreases pain by releasing a hormone, endorphins. It improves our attentiveness, pulse and heart rate.

Laughing is proven to be very beneficial for the people suffering from hypertension. It helps lower the blood pressure to normal. Laughing causes deeper breathing and increase in blood flow, due to which oxygen and essential nutrients are supplied to all body parts.

Laughter is a good workout for respiratory, abdominal, leg, back and facial muscles. It tones intestinal functioning, massages abdominal organs and strengthens abdominal muscles. This activity is advantageous for digestion as well as absorption. Laughter also helps burn calories and is beneficial for weight loss.

In addition to physical health benefits, laughing offers several psychological health benefits. It boosts self-confidence and gives mental strength to cope with conflicts and challenges in life. It also helps us come out of anxiety and depression. It improves out mental health and makes us forget all the tensions in our daily busy lives.

Laughing enhances our ability to connect with others. It also causes a number of behavioral changes. It makes us energized and increases our interest in daily activities.

Laughing also offers many social benefits. A person with a smiling face is always popular amongst a group. It lessens the distance between two individuals and brings them together. It increases healthy communication with others.

Laughter positively affects many aspects of your life, including your health, well-being and energy, leading to a healthy, quality life. So always smile, it improves your face value too.
By Reshma Jirage.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Message Bible

This video is by Tim Hawkins, called Religion and the Message Bible. Enjoy.
A Prayer for Today
· “So far today, God, I’ve done all right. I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t gossiped,  I haven’t been grumpy, nasty or selfish. I’m really glad of that. But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of  bed; and from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot of help. Thank You.”

Friday, September 26, 2014

City of East Wenatchee

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East Wenatchee raised car tabs and property taxes recently, as they were broke (they claimed), but suddenly they now have funds to purchase a $350,000 piece of land at 9th/Valley Mall Pkw. and make improvements on it as well. (that is the price they offered, not the price accepted or final price) It is conveniently located next to the hobo camps across the road so it should have plenty of visitors keeping warm at the visitor center.  No mention of if there are cleanup costs from underground storage tanks at the former gas station, but I am sure the illegal sign will come down. Perhaps the visitor center can provide tours of the many homeless camps along the trail. It is also doors down from adult porn shop.  The city is seeking public comment on this and this years budget- how about lowering our car tabs and property taxes if you have so much money? The internet is a far wiser way to do visitor information and there are meeting rooms in city hall and at the hotel, if people need to meet- why should I pay for more rooms? Maybe they will want to buy my house next?

East Wenatchee will finally end Panhandling, however It will be thru "Education"? Panhandlers love to sit at busy intersections and distract drivers with no accountability on where that money will be spent, or what other public funds you are giving them already. They enjoy not paying taxes, no business license and free use of your city/state right of way lands.  I wrote Mayor Lacy this letter over a year ago, and still have not heard a response back from him, other than his comments on todays KPQ news. They are seeking public comment on that as well- again, I have commented, but still waiting for response. It will take a serious accident caused by a distracted driver to fix the problem?
From: Dennis Hendricks
Sent: Tuesday, August 20, 2013 8:23 PM
To: Steve Lacy
Subject: panhandlers
Perhaps you can tell me who would be sued if a panhandler is struck/injured or causes an accident, by diverting attention of drivers,  on city right of way? I would think since they city has most money- they would be named first. They choose the busiest intersections- places where even hitchhiking is not allowed.
Why are they allowed to stand there without any safety vest as any other city worker would? They are actually flagging by holding a sign and directing people to stop- where are the required warning signs as required for flagging and again, the safety equipment? (L&I would fine me if I tried that- ok they did fine taxpayers for that recently)  I personally think they are breaking laws already, without the council needing to  pass new laws. I bet they do not pay tax on those earnings or have any permit to do business in city- yet the the business a few feet away must pay tax on income and have a business lic? I really wish the city would enforce laws on this before someone is hurt or sued. This has nothing to do with the poor or helping those who really need help- rather a safety issue and I know the city even gives tax dollars to help out the really needy. I know the state does not allow people to do business on state right of way-and they are conducting business. if this is a state problem, could you forward it or let me know what I need to do next?  I find it ironic signs or sale of vehicle are not allowed on city or state right of way, but panhandling is? 
Lastly, when will the 4 way stop signs at 5th/Eastmont be removed, and all Eastmont  to proceed without stopping there? Plans called to eliminating that 4 way stop, but somehow it has not happened. Can anyone help me out, and tell me why a 4 way is still needed there? No one from council has ever responded to my letter, the city engineer was only one who responded, and his excuses did not hold water. Guess the elected officials do not run the city or care to respond or listen.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Cultivating A Good Marriage

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Never quit working on making your  marriage better! Without judging anyone or knowing all the facts in all situations, can I say;  I am so tired of hearing of those walking away from their marriages, breaking their vows they made, and thinking their decisions does not affect anyone besides themselves, and most of all-  those called Christians who choose to give up and walk away. I have over 55 videos devoted to marriage and I support those ministries who devote themselves to marriage like Family Life,  Life Trac, Focus  on the Family, and Family Talk- please use them, but don't give up. I used to blame church's for not teaching enough on marriage- but it is your choice, it takes two I know, but don't quit working on your marriage. As in todays video- most marriages grow apart as couples quit working on it and staying together. And, don't wait for your partner, Start with yourself!
Last night in church, someone who I looked up, to and I count as a mentor in my life- shared how he tried to mentor his grandson only to find this grandson kept him accountable and made him live his life to a higher standard; because of his grandsons expectations and calling him on it when he did not. He knew his actions affected so many around him- I am tired of those who say "Its my life and no one else's business what I do"- how wrong! Your actions affect so many around, a more exact question is "How much is your sin going to cost me?" Before you do something stupid, like walking away in your marriage- take time to count all it will affect- and who will pay the price for your selfish actions. I am thankful for those who help keep me accountable and will call me on it when I am not. We need more grandkids in this world like his.
 
 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Denominations


Although there may not be denominations in Heaven- The bible cleary states that we should attend church. I find church helps keep me accountable, builds me up, and has helped me in so many ways.  I am a big Mark Lowry Fan- Mark Lowry is a big part of Bill Gaither videos and has been making people laugh for years. I don't  think I have posted this video yet- its called Denominations.

A Southern Baptist and a Methodist crashed landed on a desert island and they are the only ones there. The Methodist got real worried and said, "I don't think they'll ever find us. We didn't have a chance to radio where we were. They'll never find us." The Baptist just looked at peace. The Methodist asked, "How are you so confident they are going to find us?" And the Baptist said, "Well, I make $400,000 a year and I'm a tither. My preacher is going to find me."

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Are you for Choice?

Yes, I intend to vote and believe we will give an account someday how we voted on moral  issues. Sometimes we say things and do not realize the meaning has changed. My mom used to use the word Gay-and it meant so much differently than today's meaning. The word Pro-choice means so much differently than many people think of today as well- as seen in this video. Even the words socialism/Marxism, best friends, and even the word "christian" can mean so differently than what you perceive. So be careful when your politician/pastor tells you something- he may mean something differently than what you envision.  Aren't you glad Gods Word does not change?  Be sure and  Vote. Sometimes I see those preaching tolerance and acceptance are the most intolerant and hateful if you do not agree with them.  And for you who cannot view todays video- I posted a couple pages from my Political Humor Joke Book.
There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected His sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad...The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally. The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!" The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear." He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz."
THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things smelling any better

How Bad is the Economy?
The economy is so bad that I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border to Mexico.
The economy is so bad that even people who aren't in Barack Obama's cabinet aren't paying taxes.
The economy is so bad I saw a polygamist with only one wife
The economy's so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen
The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, "Finish your meal! Don't you know there are starving children in the US?"
The economy is so bad, Malia and Sasha Obama started a lemonade stand to raise money for bailouts.
The economy is so bad that 7 of 10 houses on Sesame Street are in foreclosure.
The economy is so gad that BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen
The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials
The economy is so bad, a picture is now only worth 200 words.
The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
The economy is so bad, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up
The economy is so bad, Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can!"
The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU!
The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.
The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.
 
 

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Don't Text and Drive


I am tired of people texting and driving- now I even saw a car ad where it implied it was ok to text and drive in that car?  Please do not text and Drive, it is very very dangerous. It is like taking your eyes off the road for 5 seconds- a lot can happen in those 5 seconds. Please!

This 17 year old driver was killed texting and driving. Was it that  important? You may have a smart phone, but that does not automatically make you smart. Be an example for your children- don't text and drive ever.
AT&T “It Can Wait” Don’t Text and Drive Campaign - Featured Case ...
Please don't text and drive. Remember, You are Driving a Car, It isn't a telephone booth, a beauty parlor, or restaurant either.

Don't text and drive! | DISTRACTED DRIVING / DRUNK DRIVING KILLS ...



Friday, September 19, 2014

Girl in A Bar

I have 93 commercials posted in my blogs. Here is a leather commercial that is suggestive but humorous. Reminds me of Proverbs 6.
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, then discovers he has to go to the bathroom. To stop anyone stealing his drink he puts a note on it saying, ‘I spat in this beer.’ When he returns he finds another note saying, ‘So did I!’



Thursday, September 18, 2014

Life Isn't Fair

I bet you have said more than once, "Life Isn't Fair." Mike Williams made this video years ago, called Life Isn't Fair and its fun to hear someone else deal with this issue. Take a  moment and listen to this video and ask yourself what would you do? 
Things to Avoid..
NEVER raise your hand during a hijacking to indicate that you get a kosher meal.
NEVER ask a bald man if you can borrow his toupee to clean your windshield.
NEVER threaten to punish your Dalmatian with spot remover
NEVER hire an attorney who can discuss specific episodes of The Flintstones.
NEVER trust an Oriental dentist who sells miniature ivory animals
NEVER tell an IRS auditor that if he doesn't leave you alone, you plan to cheat again next year.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

David Letterman at Taco Bell

                                         
Here is a humor video of David Letterman at Taco Bell. Sometimes I wonder if we do not laugh enough and take outselves too serioius at times?  I also posted page 52/53 of my humor book called Wisdom,Wonder, & Wit for those who cannot view the video. You need to laugh and smile- it is called  Things to Drive your Co-workers crazy.
Things To Drive Your Co-workers Crazy..
At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom'
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the break room. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
Ask people what sex they are.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet
Leave your zipper open during an important meeting. When the boss points this out, say, "Yeah, I know. I really prefer it this way."
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess"
When shaking hands an important client, pretend your hand has "seized up" and you can't let go.
Make race-car sounds every time you move your computer mouse.
While talking to your boss, pick your nose and eat the booger.
Yell, "Yahtzee!" every now and then.
When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Everytime you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"
Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.
In the memo field of your checks write "for sensual massage"
Reply to everything with, "That's what you think."
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Self Image

I never know which videos will have lots of views or few- sometimes it surprises me. I make this blog mainly for myself, and today's video is directed toward me more than women probably.  Mark Gungor has a marriage video series I highly recommend called Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage. This clip is from that video. Don't take your spouse or kids for granted- they are a gift from God to you.
Ten Biblical Rules for a Happy Marriage
By Steve Arterburn
New Life Ministries
  1. Never bring up mistakes of the past. Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37).
  2. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
    And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? (Mark 8:36)
  3. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
    And don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26).
  4. At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse.
    Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).
  5. Never meet without an affectionate welcome.Kiss me again and again, your love is sweeter than wine (Song of Solomon 1:2).
  6. "For richer or poorer" - rejoice in every moment that God has given you together.
    A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate (Proverbs 15:17).
  7. If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.
    Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them (Proverbs 3:27).
  8. If they're breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive.
    I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him (Luke 17:3,4).
  9. Don't use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer.
    God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it (John 3:17).
  10. Let love be your guidepost.
    Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged (1 Cor. 13:4,5).

Monday, September 15, 2014

Comedian Cleans Up His Act

I posted this under marriage label, as with Gods help, Jeff Allen turned his life and marriage around. I love it when someone can change for the better. I do believe we need the help of God to do that and he is ready and willing if we will let  him. I may not be the person you think I should be, but I thank God I am not the person I was. The thing I learned at Northwest College, that has helped me the most, is to keep my eyes on Jesus and not on people.  It is not too late to turn around if you are going the wrong direction. Finish Strong!

It seems the wife of this guy bought a bunch of pot plants and hanging baskets into the house to keep them from freezing. A little green snake had hidden in one of those plants and it got carried inside. When the snake warmed up, it came slithering out and went under the sofa. The man’s wife saw it, and screamed. The man, who was taking a bath, heard the scream and came running completely naked, to see what the problem was. Wife said snake was under sofa, so husband got down on the floor to look for snake. His dog came up from the rear and cold-nosed him from the rear. he thought it was the snake and fainted. Wife thought he had a heart-attack and called an ambulance. Ambulance men rushed in, loaded him on stretcher and started caring him out of the house. The snake came crawling out from the sofa, the ambulance men saw the snake. They dropped the stretcher and broke the man’s leg.


Sunday, September 14, 2014

Happy Anniversary Donny & Darcie

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Today is Donny and Darcies Anniversary. I pray Gods blessings on them and may they  have many many happy years together as they celebrate their differences and encourage each other daily.
 

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Shooting Stars


Hard to believe it was 45 years ago that Neil Armstrong walked on the moon.  Neil Armstrong, died at age of 82, two years ago. Normally we live too far south to see the northern lights, but last night was our greatest chance to see them. The Northern Lights light up the sky when atoms in the atmosphere collide with particles from the sun, appearing as green waves, and occasionally red, blue and purple. I hope you were able to see them- here is a video about space toilets and another explanation for shooting stars that I had not heard before.
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $2 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300C.   When confronted with the same problem, the Russians used a pencil.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Slow Down

Yesterday we remembered 9/11 and the tragedy that struck our nation. One thing that struck me was the stories of those who survived because of decisions made that day- not knowing how if would affect their lives. We do not know what each day brings us- This video is a good reminder to slow down and enjoy our children. It also reminds us we are still alive for a purpose- don't give up!
It's The ' L I T T L E ' Things
As you might remember, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.
Another fellow was alive because it was His turn to bring donuts.
One woman was late because her Alarm clock didn't go off in time.
One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike Because of an auto accident.
One of them Missed his bus.
One spilled food on her clothes and had to take Time to change.
One's car wouldn't start. Another couldn't get a taxi.
The one that struck me was the man Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, Took the various means to get to work But before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..
Now when we're stuck in traffic ,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...
All these little things annoy us.
And, I think to myself,
This is exactly where God wants me to be At this very moment..
Next time your morning seems to be Going wrong ,
You can't seem to find the car keys, You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
It may be just that God is at work watching over you.
May God continue to bless you With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose

Thursday, September 11, 2014

This House Still Stands

 Today is 9/11- everything seems to be focused on what happened 13 years ago. Most of my grandkids will live with those effects even though they were not there.  Yes, I remember that morning going to work, and I wonder if any of those 3,000 would have done anything different on that date. It does no good to look back, we cannot change that- we need to look ahead and change what we can.  I would like to focus on the marriages that are under attack- There is someone out there seeking to destroy marriage- don't give up!  I love Steve and Annie Chapman- their songs talk so much about family and marriage. You have probably noticed I use their songs for many of my personal videos I make. For their 25th anniversary they wrote this song. It seems marriage is being attacked and in many ways it is a spiritual war more than a husband/wife war. I pray that God will bless your marriage. Don't Give Up! Ask God to be part of your marriage. Build your house on the Rock.  Your Children need a safe place, called home, now more than ever. (Adults need a safe place too!)
A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.-- Ruth Bell Graham

A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. -- Dave Meurer

As for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me."-- Jon BonJovi

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. -- Simone Signoret

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.-- Tom Mullen

I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.-- Zig Ziglar

I think a man and a woman should choose each other for life, for the simple reason that a long life with all its accidents is barely enough time for a man and a woman to understand each other and. . . to understand - is to love.-- William Butler Yeats

In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.-- H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. -- Mark Twain

Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy - and satisfied. It's your job to make your marriage happy - and satisfying. Same goes for sex. It isn't supposed to make you passionate and "hot". It's up to you to make it passionate and "hot" - and intimate.-- Diane Sollee

One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not. Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly renewed. That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time.-- David Mace

People think they have to find their soulmate to have a good marriage. You're not going to "find" your soulmate. Anyone you meet already has soulmates. Their mother. Their father. Their lifelong friends. You get married, and after 20 years of loving,bearing and raising children, meeting challenges - then you'll have "created" your soulmate.-- Diane Sollee

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. -- Peter De Vries

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. -- Amy Grant

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.-- Theodore Hesburgh

There is such pleasure in long-term marriage that I really would hate to be my age and not have had a long-term marriage. Remember, sustaining a pleasurable, long-term marriage takes effort, deliberateness and an intention to learn about one another. In other words, marriage is for grown-ups. -- Cokie Roberts, From This Day Forward

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.-- Leo Tolstoy

When asked his secret of love, being married fifty-four years to the same person, he said, "Ruth and I are happily incompatible."-- Billy Graham

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.-- Friedrich Nietzsche

You don't marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you.-- Richard Needham

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Most Dangerous Job

Someone said going to church won't make you a Christian any more than eating a donut will make you a cop? Actually I was a peace officer  back in the 80's for WUTC- although we never carried guns and mainly dealt with trucks.  I also interviewed for a state trooper position before the WUTC hired me.  My hats off to the police who some say have the most dangerous job? I have some good friends in that field. And hats off to this commercial- very well done.
Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues.
What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup!
 
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate.
"I've got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?"
"I should let you know first that I am a policeman."
"That's OK. I'll tell it really slow!"
 
COP: "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."
LADY: "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.”

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"


Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired arrive on scene. After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor,they call their sergeant on his cell phone."Hello Sarge." “What's happened?" asked the sarge. "It looks like we have a homicide here." "What happened?" again asked the Sarge. "A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped." "Have you placed her under arrest?" asked the Sarge. "No sir. The floor is still wet."

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I'm In Love With Chic Fil A

Yesterday the founder of Chic Fil A passed away at the age of 93. I have never eaten at Chic Fil A, or met the owners, but I admired the founders principals and I respect his right to his views no matter how some may try to silence him or stop his business because it does not match up with their values. I find the people who claim to be tolerant as sometimes just the opposite.  I had to share this song by Tim Hawkins today in memory of  S Truett Cathy. I am posting the news story below, whether you can trust the media may be debateable,  as the accuracy in the past was certainly questionable.
 

S. Truett Cathy, 93, Chick-fil-A Owner, Dies

When he introduced himself, S. Truett Cathy often played down his job.
“I cook chicken for a living,” he would say.
And on the surface, that was true. Mr. Cathy, who died on Monday at 93, was by all appearances a humble Christian man from Georgia with little education who sold a simple sandwich: a breaded, boneless chicken breast on a soft, white, buttered bun with nothing more than a couple of pickles for garnish.
But as the founder of the Chick-fil-A fast-food empire, he was also a billionaire several times over and, as a conservative Christian who ran his business according to his religious principles, he was at once a hero and a symbol of intolerance. Many admired him for closing his outlets on Sundays and speaking out against same-sex marriage. Others vilified his restaurant chain as a symbol of hate.
He died at his home in Clayton County, Ga., a Chick-fil-A spokesman said.
Rising to prominence between Robert Woodruff, who took over Coca-Cola in the 1930s, and Sam Walton, who began the Walmart chain with a small store in Bentonville, Ark., in 1950, Mr. Cathy was one of a handful of Southern entrepreneurs who in one lifetime took small, hometown companies to a global level.
“He was really part of that generation that was our version of the Rockefellers or Henry Ford,” said William Ferris, a director of the Center for the Study of the American South at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. “They moved the South in ways that could have never been anticipated in their lifetime.”
Mr. Cathy’s company and its charitable arms have reached widely throughout the South, helping the region’s economy and promoting the founder’s Baptist values. The company required potential franchise operators, for example, to discuss their marital status and their civic and church involvement.
Mr. Cathy said he closed his restaurants on Sundays so that his employees could spend time with their families. But the policy was also a way to honor his faith.
“It’s a silent witness to the Lord when people go into shopping malls, and everyone is bustling, and you see that Chick-fil-A is closed,” he once told a reporter for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Mr. Cathy’s beliefs underpinned the activities of the WinShape Foundation, a charitable arm of his empire that provided for scholarships, camps and foster care before branching out to support organizations that promoted traditional marriage. The foundation gave millions of dollars toward their efforts to oppose extending marriage rights to couples of the same sex.
“As it relates to society in general, I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage,’ ” Dan Cathy, Mr. Cathy’s son and the president of the company,  said.
Bloggers brought the donations to light in 2012, causing a furor. Advocates of same-sex marriage initiated boycotts and campaigned to stop franchises from opening in some cities and on some college campuses. Those who supported Mr. Cathy’s views also rallied, flooding Chick-fil-A restaurants with business.
In response, the company said it would step back from the policy debate over same-sex marriage and stop funding most of the groups that were at the center of the storm. Mr. Cathy never wavered in his beliefs, however — a point mentioned by politicians, celebrities and business leaders who commented on his death.
“In every facet of his life, Truett Cathy has exemplified the finest aspects of his Christian faith,” former President Jimmy Carter said in a statement. “By his example, he has been a blessing to countless people.”
Samuel Truett Cathy, one of seven children, was born on March 14, 1921, in Eatonton, Ga., the hometown as well of the author Alice Walker and Joel Chandler Harris, who wrote the Uncle Remus stories.
By 8, Truett, as he was called, was selling bottles of Coca-Cola in his front yard. Six years later, the Depression drove his parents to move the family to a public housing project, the nation’s first, in downtown Atlanta.
A poor student, Mr. Cathy never went to college, but he developed a sharp business acumen, which was supplemented by a strong work ethic he had learned from his parents. He often said the only time he ever saw his mother with her eyes closed was when she was in her coffin.
After he returned from the Army in World War II, he and his brother Ben opened a diner in Hapville, Ga., just south of Atlanta, in 1946. Many of his customers worked at a nearby Ford plant. The squat shape of the building inspired the name: the Dwarf Grill.
Chicken became a focus when Mr. Cathy started acquiring chicken breasts that had been rejected by another Atlanta company, Delta Air Lines, because they were either too large or too small for the airline’s food trays. Mr. Cathy began experimenting, frying breaded chicken in a cast-iron pan with a lid, the way his mother used to.
He gave his sandwich its unusual name so that a nation just falling in love with fast-food hamburgers might better understand his product: Chick-fil-A was meant to suggest a chicken steak.
As suburban malls came to the South, Mr. Cathy opened a Chick-fil-A at the Greenbriar Mall in Atlanta. It was a pioneering effort to put fast food inside shopping centers.
By 2001, the privately held Chick-fil-A had a thousand restaurants and $1.2 billion in sales. In 2013, the company had sales of more than $5 billion and had become the nation’s top-selling fast-food chicken, besting KFC.
Mr. Cathy instructed his heirs, who run the company, that they may sell it but must never take it public, because such a move could curtail the immense amount of charitable giving the company engages in.
Mr. Cathy is survived by his wife of 65 years, Jeannette; three children, Dan Cathy, Don Cathy and Trudy Cathy White; 18 grandchildren; and 19 great-grandchildren.
In the five books he wrote, Mr. Cathy often emphasized the importance of giving over receiving and of treating others as you would like to be treated.
“We live in a changing world, but we need to be reminded that the important things have not changed,” he said, “and the important things will not change if we keep our priorities in proper order.”
Correction: September 8, 2014
An earlier version of this article misattributed a quote. Dan Cathy, Mr. Cathy’s son and the president of the company,  said, “As it relates to society in general, I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say, ‘We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.’ ” It was not said by S. Truett Cathy. 
 
Some of you know I attend an Assembly of God church. I am proud of the Assembly of God stand on this issue, that I posted two years ago, and has not changed. I certainly am not saying you have to agree with my views, but don't force your views down my throat and use the courts to go against the will of the people on this issue. You can't walk with God holding hands with the Devil. Why do people say "I believe in God" hen totally ignore everything the scripture teaches?
 Assemblies of God Speaks Out on Chick-fil-A Controversy
 7/27/2012 Steve Strang and Jennifer LeClaire
George O. Wood, General Superintendent of the General Counsel of the Assemblies of God (AG)

George Wood heard Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel loud and clear when he said that “Chick-fil-A’s values are not Chicago values.”

The General Superintendent of the General Council of the Assemblies of God now has a rapid fire series of questions for Emanuel and any other mayor who may be tempted to follow in his footsteps.

“Are you saying that the Catholics are also unwelcome in Chicago because they don’t have Chicago values? That evangelicals aren’t welcome? That Muslims aren’t welcome? That Orthodox Jewish people are not welcome?

“That other persons who have religious beliefs that marriage is between a man and a woman don’t have Chicago values and therefore they are excluded from your community? Do you intend to discriminate against persons of faith? Do you intend to marginalize them? Are you becoming, in your view, intolerant of persons of religious faith?

Wood believes these are all important questions for the public square. As he sees it, the push to characterize anyone who has convictions about personal marriage as bigoted is itself bigotry on display.
“We are in the middle of a massive decision in this country as to whether we are going to embrace a path toward total secularism which marginalizes people of faith, or whether people of faith and other persons of goodwill are going to rally to the side of those who hold to the moral and religious values that have made this country what it is,” Wood says.
Indeed, Wood says the United States is at a watershed moment. At this time, he says it’s still up in the air as to which side is going to prevail. He’d like to see Christians be alert to the moment and mobilize for morals.
“Christians have a choice in this upcoming election, whether they are going to put their moral values ahead of everything else. There’s been so much talk about the economy and that’s understandable when you are hurting financially,” Wood says.

“But if the culture shifts and we become Western Europe replayed where religion is out of fashion, so to speak, then we are headed for moral chaos in this country and decline. Christians in this country have to come to an understanding of where they are with regard to the moral issues of our day—issues that relate to life and issues that relate to sexuality.”
 

Monday, September 8, 2014

Roll On Columbia

Forty three years ago, about this time of year,  our family moved to Coulee Dam from Fife.  My Dad worked on the 3rd powerhouse as a carpenter/welder. There I finished High School, married my high school sweetheart, bought our first home, and had our first child. Although we moved in 1977 to Spokane, the Columbia River would always play an important part of my life- we lived along the Columbia river in Kennewick and also now in East Wenatchee.  I wish I had a dollar for each time I have crossed the river. (4 times today so far just today) Much of my work follows the river from Canada to Vernita each summer on the striping crew. Going back to the Grand Coulee Area brings back mixed memories- things change in 43 years- sadly the biggest change is perhaps due to 9/11? Many of the roads are now blocked off for security and those security guards take their jobs serioius.  They have moved the house we used to live in somewhere else, the garage we built still stands. The church we attended has closed up, the high school we attended was torn down this summer and a new school opened. (Last summer we attended our 40 year class reunion)  I had to put this video together as a tribute to the mighty Columbia River. I used to hear this song when the radio station would go off the air each night at sundown in Grand Coulee. (KFDR)  Roll On Columbia, Roll On...
My dad kept a diary and I am posting a few entries below- basically we moved to Coulee Dam on Sept 8th and I think I must have started school on Monday the 13th of Sept. (I started late) and remember Janice being in my History Class.

Aug17; To Coulee Dam. Had carpenter welder job-take it. change dues 17.50
Aug 18;started-(till June 29, 1993)- big day yesterday- 2 hrs sleep last night. what a day. climb steps to 180 feet or more to the "pour"
19th-burned pants. leg a bit-only one stinger for two welders-so-
20;getting better at job. back by 9';30pm at house (241 miles)
24th;got a company hard hat and hood combo at last. a hotter day. $47.00 a month for lot with elec included in Coulee Dam.
29th; at elec. city Baptist church. yp in charge.
Sept. 7th; hard short day at job w/lots of welding
8th;Wed-plenty of blowouts on house tire.end of run(???) for this mover at 15 miles from destination. $417.00 trip costs twice!
9; thurs-waiting at camp site-took blocks to Earls Tr. Pk. to get mover from Wenatchee, $88.00 plus 105 for 1 wheel and tire. wow.
10th-moved at 7;15 this morning. a hot day. leveled house, have elect and water (no gas)
12th-to A of G church twice-pretty good.  start here-moved!


Sunday, September 7, 2014

Only You

 
 
 
 
Singing is not my talent, neither is ventriloquism- I love this video. This guy is good. Terry Fator won on Americas Got Talent several years, and this is a clip from 2008 on the Jerry Lewis Telethon- enjoy!

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip." The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Saturday, September 6, 2014

One Pair of Hands

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. . .
 
As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
 
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting

Grandpa,  some  ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench.  He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands.  When I sat down beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat,  I wondered if he was OK.
Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK.
He raised his head and looked at me and smiled.  "Yes, I'm fine.  Thank you for asking," he said in a clear strong voice.
"I didn't mean to disturb you, Grandpa, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to him. 
"Have you ever looked at your hands," he asked.  "I mean really looked at your hands?" 
I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them.  I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making. Grandpa smiled and related this story:
"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands,  though wrinkled, shriveled, and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.  They put food in my mouth and clothes on my  back. 
 
*  As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer.
*  They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.
*  They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and  bent.
*  They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son.
*  Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special.
*  They trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and walked my daughter down the aisle.
*  They  have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body.
*  They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw.
*  And to this day,  when not much of anything else of me works real well, these hands hold me up, lay me down,  and again continue to fold in prayer.
*  These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of my life.
*  But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home.
*  And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of  Christ."
 I will  never look at my hands the same again.  But I remember God reached out and took my grandpa's hands and led him home.
When my hands are hurt or sore I think of Grandpa.  I know he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.   I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.
When you receive this, say a prayer for the person who sent it to you and watch God's answer to prayer work in your life.  Let's continue praying for one another.