Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Paraprosdokian

I don't think people laugh enough and take life far too seriosly at least I do. I had to look up paraprosdokian. Here is the definition: 1. Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation. "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian OK, so now enjoy!
* I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

* Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

* The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

* Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

* If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

* We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

* War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

* Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

* Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

* To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

* I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

* Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

* I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

* Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

* Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

* A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

* You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

* Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

* There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

* I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

* You're never too old to learn something stupid.

* To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

* Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

* Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

* A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

* I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

* When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

* If we are supposed to learn from our mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Monday, July 29, 2013

Going Home

The video slideshow is of Bob Brown, my brother in law who passed away a few years ago. He served as a misionary to Africa after he retired from the Air Force as an officer. I miss him. I look forward to seeing him on the other side.


Sunday, July 28, 2013

Oh Blessed Tail Lights

Jan is gone this week to camp and so I get to watch Billy this Thursday and Friday myself. I sure enjoy being a grandpa. We love to go on walks in his backpack, and I love talking to him as he seems to listen to me and never disagrees.  I think most grandparents hope their grandchildren will change the world for the better where we may have failed. Aaron Wilburn sang this song a few years ago that I thought you may enjoy since there is no real way to tell you the joys of grandparenting unless you have experienced it yourself.
A little boy was in church next his father and at his father’s request said a small prayer, "Dear God, please bless Mommy and Daddy and all the family to be healthy and happy."
Suddenly he looked up and said out loud, "And please don't forget to ask grandpa to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!"
"There is no need to shout like that," said his father. "God isn't hard of hearing."
"No," said the little boy, "but Grandpa is."
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting, " she said, "how do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."


A little girl was sitting on her grandmothers lap as she read her a book. She repeatedly touched her grandmothers cheek and then her own fascinated by the difference.
“Grandma” she asked, “Did God make you?”
“Yes dear,” Grandma replied, “God made me a long time ago.”
“Did God make me?” she asked.
“Yes, God made you too.” Answered Grandma.
“Well he sure has gotten better over the years, hasn’t he?

Saturday, July 27, 2013

I Don't Drink Beer


Comedy can bring home a point. I almost hate to post some beer commercials as they show the humor but not the effects it has on ones life. Tim Hawkins is a comedian who wrote a song called "I Don't Drink Beer"

.I enjoy being around people who make me laugh when they do not need alcohol or drugs as those people are real. I have seen too many lives ruined by alcohol/drugs-and that- is not funny. So if you want to know some reasons why I choose not to drink beer- listen to the video and you make your own decisions.
Todays News:
The operator of a boat carrying members of a wedding party that crashed into a barge on the Hudson River Friday night, killing a bride and her fiance's best man while injuring three others, including the groom, has been arrested on suspicion of intoxication.
Please understand, this thing is worse than any of us realize...
My Name Is "Meth"
I destroy homes, I tear families apart, take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold,
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me, remember I'm easily found,
I live all around you - in schools and in town.
I live with the rich; I live with the poor,
I live down the street, and maybe next door.
I'm made in a lab, but not like you think,
I can be made under the kitchen sink.
In your child's closet, and even in the woods,
If this scares you to death, well it certainly should.
I have many names, but there's one you know best,
I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is crystal meth.
My power is awesome; try me you'll see,
But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go,
But try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie,
You do what you have to -- just to get high.
The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms,
your lungs your nose.
You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad,
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.
But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised,
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,
I turn people from God, and separate friends.
I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride,
I'll be with you always -- right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home,
Your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.
I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give,
When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned - this is no game,
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.
I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind,
I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed,
The voices you'll hear, from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see,
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart,
That you are mine, and we shall not part.
You'll regret that you tried me, they always do,
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were told,
But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.
You could have said no, and just walked away,
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master, you will be my slave,
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.
Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell,
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.
If you care enough, please forward this profound poem and share the deadly outcome of this drug that is killing our young people & even our old...
Beer doesn't turn people into somebody they're not.
It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Good Clean Comedy

I love good clean comedy. Someone said laughter is an instant vacation. It seems my most viewed blogs deal with comedy- you can see I have many important topics, but Comedy is one of the highest, especially if you include commercials. Take a minute and have a good laugh with Kerri Pomarolli as she speaks to a christian womens conference.


Thursday, July 25, 2013

Your Cheatin Heart

In 1996 Pepsi came out with this commerical to the country song called Your Cheatin Heart. I thought it was cute- I personally will drink any pop, I am not sold on coke or pepsi- I am trying to stay away from diet pops- actually a root beer float sounds good right now with the temperatures outside. I am thankful our work trucks have Air in them.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Momma Had Enough

Parenting brings many humorous moments as we look back at our memories growing up.I think each child tested his parents to see how far the limits were. I am thankful that I was not an only child and enjoyed having older brothers and one younger and one older sister.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

A Letter From Dad

 

Children are special. Dads who take care of special needs children are extra special in my eyes and are Hero's. They certainly think nothing of it, but my hats are off to them for the example they set and I know God has a special place in Heaven for them.This video by Focus on the Family reminded me of them- I will not mention their names as I know they want their reward in heaven, not down here. Thanks Men!
And for you moms; TWENTY THINGS A MOM SHOULD TELL HER SON

1. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time ... and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.

2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don't take something away from her that you can't give back.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.

4. Save money when you're young because you're going to need it someday.

5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.

6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.

7. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.

8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.

9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts.

10. Take pride in your appearance.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" still go a long way.

14. The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". Please do not scratch them in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.

17. It is better to be kind than to be right.

18. A sense of humor goes a long way in the healing process.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren.

20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.

Monday, July 22, 2013

The Most Dangerous Job

I am thankful for my job- its pretty safe and I have some great co-workers. My brother sent me this video of what could be a dangerous job? I think they would have to be in great shape and they certainly deserve to be paid more than my job pays- and more than most sports players. So next time you complain about being underpaid, or think your job is tough, take a look at this job and Be Thankful.
Q: How many college football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None.... There never *was* any light bulb, don't you remember?

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It turns itself in.

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven: One to install the new bulb, and six to figure what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change?

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?

Q: How many senior Presidential Aides does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They're supposed to keep the President in the dark.
A' : One: to award a billion dollar sole-source contract with Halliburton to replace it.
A'': thirty-eight: One to say that no one could have foreseen the bulb'sburning out, one to spin stories for newspapers that the President's bulb-changing program is working well, and thirty-five to go out on talk shows to accuse the Democrats of being weak on light, and one to deny rumors that it's still dark in there.
A''': sixty: thirty to bribe staffers to write letters telling everyone how wonderful it is to sit in the dark, and thirty more to bribe newspaper editors to publish those letters.
A'''': The Administration will defend its policy of warrant-less of all Americans suspected of supporting foreign terrorist bulbs entering this country.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Fake Women

Its no fun growing old, and today I needed to laugh more- so I am posting this video again.  George Younce has gone home- but I enjoy his singing and humor.
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when 2 people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds! And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you right now. "


An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down......."

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been

The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in 70 or 80 years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Happy Growing Old

Happy Getting Old! It's hard to find a card or video to please everyone. Someone sent me this video that I wanted to share with you. Its good to laugh and joke about things we have no control over- including getting old. It is even more important to look at the bright side of getting of everything. There is still things to be thankful for as this song points out. Funny how It seems everyone is getting older except for you and me? They say the older you get, the more respect you get-So I just want you to know I have all the respect in the world for you ! And Remember; It’s better to be over the hill than 6 feet under it..



Friday, July 19, 2013

Baby Stuff


Before  I started these  blogs almost five years ago, I would collect funny videos. This was one called  Baby stuff. I don't think any of these babies did this on purpose and most babies will return a smile when you give them yours. I do believe we need to keep a sense of humor and I Thank God for Children.  Today was a special day for me in that I got to hang out with my 3 month old Grandson! We walked to the mall, (he fell asleep halfway there) and the kitten and bird both helped me entertain him- they loved his smiles and laugh.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Safety

Some jobs come with danger, other jobs create danger needlessly, and some create needless fear a job they are paid to do. Someone sent me a video of a excavator- not sure what they were trying to prove (I can't understand the language either)- but I would say that safety was not a main thought. At least he was wearing his seat belt? I am glad I have a job where safety is a high priority. Sometimes Safety is not doing something more than doing something.

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"


Sunday, July 14, 2013

Don't Judge Too Quickly

"Don't Judge Too Quickly" was a commercial series done a few years ago. I am amazed at the comments on the Zimmerman/Martin court case since the ruling came out last night and the knowledge those people had on the case that we or the jury did not  have apparently. Some even want tax dollars spent on retrying him a second time and others are upset he got his gun back.  I do not trust the media and it almost seemed they were hoping for riots after the verdict? When I was on city council, several issues were misrepresented in the media and then blown way out by comments of well meaning people who were not there or trusted the media. Lets hope we do not judge too quickly today as we go about our business and give our friends the benefit of the doubt.
APPEARANCES DECEIVE!
At a pastor's conference in Spokane, Washington, prominent American preacher Chuck Swindoll told of being at a California Christian camp. The first day there a man approached him and said how greatly he had looked forward to hearing Dr. Swindoll speak and his delight at now finally being able to realize that desire.

That evening Swindoll noticed the man sitting near the front. But only a few minutes into the message the man was sound asleep. Swindoll thought to himself that perhaps he was tired after a long day's drive and couldn't help himself. But the same thing happened the next few nights, and Dr. Swindoll found his exasperation with the man growing.
On the last night the man's wife came up and apologized for her husband's inattention to the messages. She explained that he had recently been diagnosed as having terminal cancer and the medication he was taking to ease the pain made him extremely sleepy. But it had been one of his life-long ambitions to hear Dr. Swindoll speak before he died, and now he had fulfilled that goal.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

And God Make A Liberal

I certainly do not want to offend my liberal friends- I respect your views and I enjoy the humor some of your friends bring into the world. Paul Harvey did a story called "God Made A Farmer".It was made into a superbowl commercial. That same story has now been made into a story called "God Made A Liberal"- what God may have done on the 9th Day? As someone said, I am not a comedian, I only report the news.
In 1887 Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh , had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years prior:

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse over loose fiscal policy, (which is) always followed by a dictatorship."

"The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; From spiritual faith to great courage; From courage to liberty; From liberty to abundance; From abundance to complacency; From complacency to apathy; From apathy to dependence; From dependence back into bondage.
Quit trashing Obama's accomplishments. He has done more than any other President before him. He has an impressive list of accomplishments:
First President to apply for college aid as a foreign student, then deny he was a foreigner.
First President to have a social security number from a state he has never lived in.
First President to preside over a cut to the credit-rating of the United States .
First President to violate the War Powers Act.
First President to be held in contempt of court for illegally obstructing oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico .
First President to require all Americans to purchase a product from a third party.
First President to spend a trillion dollars on "shovel-ready" jobs when there was no such thing as "shovel-ready" jobs.

First President to abrogate bankruptcy law to turn over control of companies to his union supporters.
First President to by-pass Congress and implement the Dream Act through executive fiat.
First President to order a secret amnesty program that stopped the deportation of illegal immigrants across the U.S. , including those with criminal convictions.
First President to demand a company hand-over $20 billion to one of his political appointees.
First President to tell a CEO of a major corporation (Chrysler) to resign.
First President to terminate America˜s ability to put a man in space.
First President to cancel the National Day of Prayer and to say that America is no longer a Christian nation.
First President to have a law signed by an auto-pen without being present.
First President to arbitrarily declare an existing law unconstitutional and refuse to enforce it.
First President to threaten insurance companies if they publicly spoke out on the reasons for their rate increases.
First President to tell a major manufacturing company in which state it is allowed to locate a factory.
First President to file lawsuits against the states he swore an oath to protect (AZ, WI, OH, IN).
First President to withdraw an existing coal permit that had been properly issued years ago.
First President to actively try to bankrupt an American industry (coal).
First President to fire an inspector general of AmeriCorps for catching one of his friends in a corruption case.
First President to appoint 45 czars to replace elected officials in his office.
First President to surround himself with radical left wing anarchists.
First President to golf 73 separate times in his first two and a half years in office, 102 to date.
First President to hide his medical, educational and travel records.
First President to win a Nobel Peace Prize for doing NOTHING to earn it.
First President to go on multiple "global apology tours" and concurrent "insult our friends" tours.
First President to go on 17 lavish vacations, including date nights and Wednesday evening White House parties for his friends paid for by the taxpayers.
First President to have 22 personal servants (taxpayer funded) for his wife.
First President to keep a dog trainer on retainer for $102,000 a year at taxpayer expense.
First President to fly in a personal trainer from Chicago at least once a week at taxpayer expense
First President to repeat the Holy Quran & tell us the early morning call of the Azan (Islamic call to worship) is the most beautiful sound on earth.
First President to tell the military men and women that they should pay for their own private insurance because they "volunteered to go to war and knew the consequences."
Then he was the First President to tell the members of the military that THEY were UNPATRIOTIC for balking at the last suggestion.
First President to side with a foreign nation over one of the American 50 states ( Mexico vs Arizona ).
How is this hope and change working out for you?
A Man walked into a Washington D.C. Catholic Church Confessional.   He tells the Priest "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I killed a Congressman."
 The Priest responds: "My son, I'm here to forgive your sins, not discuss your community service work!"

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

One Man Saw

You may get a laugh from this video, but it is actually a reminder to be safe and think things through before  you try it. Don't compromise on safety.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Lifeguard In Pool

Sometimes we take life too seriously and with today's news, I wanted to post the reactions to what some viewed they thought was happening. I wonder how much of the news is like that? Come to think of it, I would like to try this trick and watch the reaction someday.


Monday, July 8, 2013

Video Conference

I could post this under values even though it is a commerical. Seems we often forget to tell the Truth and have forgotten it is part of the 10 Commandments that we seldom refer to anymore.It does not matter if they have been removed from the walls of our schools if they are written on the walls of your heart. Nothing makes me loose trust in someone faster than someone who lies to me. And a lie is a lie- no such thing as stretching the truth, white lies, little lies, implying,- why not just tell the truth?
The United States has made a lot of progress over the last 140 years. It sure has. President Washington couldn't tell a lie and now every politician in Washington can


Sunday, July 7, 2013

Excuses, Excuses

My parents never gave me the option to stay home from church- I can apprecite that now. I learned at Bible college to keep my Eyes on Jesus, not others, so it does not matter who does or does not go to church today. It is my choice- I choose to attend and stay committed even in tough times or when we may disagree. I am so thankful for my church and pastor. Everyone needs a church home- you will find that in scripture. I am also thankful for our denomination leadership and protection. I don't know how people make it without that support, accountability and encouragement. They have put up with me for almost 26 years now-(Am I getting old or what)  I miss many who have gone on and I welcome the new faces. I appreciate the variety of ages, the prayers for me, support, and messages are so encouraging. So for you who choose to stay home today, here are some excuses for you in todays video by the Kingsmen.
NO EXCUSE SUNDAY: DEDICATED TO MISSING CHURCH ATTENDEES!
To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special “No Excuse Sunday”: Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, “Sunday is my only day to sleep in.” There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard. Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night. We will have steel helmets for those who say, “The roof would cave in if I ever came to church.” Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot. Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can’t go to church and cook dinner, too. We will distribute “Stamp Out Stewardship” buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money. One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them. We will provide hearing aids for those who can’t hear the preacher and cotton wool for those who think he’s too loud! Hope to see you there!

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Bedtime Prayers

Sometimes we do things out of habit and need someone to question why we do certain things. Tim Hawkins looks at some of our bedtime prayers for kids- maybe you can explain it for us? Sometimes it is not just the things we say to our kids that we do not think about either?


Dear Lord,
So far everything has gone well today.
I have been patient. I have been thoughtful of others. I have put others first. I have not gossiped, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self indulgent. I have not lost my temper, or even been brusque. I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten any chocolate.
However, Lord, in just a few minutes I’ll be getting out of bed and I am going to need all the help I can get!


Retirees Prayer;
Now I lay me
Down to sleep.
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my backside
Before it sags.
Please no age spots
Please no gray
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy
Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you've done.
Amen

Dear Lord,
Help me to relax about insignificant details, beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 a.m. EST.
Help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them are hypersensitive.
Help me to take responsibility for the consequences of my actions, even though they're usually not my fault.
Help me to not try to run everything - but, if you need some help, please feel free to ask me.
Help me to be more laid back, and help me to do it exactly right.
Help me to take things more seriously, especially laughter, parties, and dancing.
Give me patience, and I mean right now!
Help me not be a perfectionist. (Did I spell that correctly?)
Help me to finish everything I sta
Help me to keep my mind on one thing ... oh, look, a bird ... at a time.
Help me to do only what I can, and trust you for the rest. And would you mind putting that in writing?
Keep me open to others' ideas, misguided though they may be.
Help me follow established procedures. Hey, wait ... this is wrong ...
Help me slow down andnotrushthroughwhatido.
Thank you, Lord.
Amen



Friday, July 5, 2013

Mr. Silent Gasser Passer

Our striping crew has a good sense of humor, maybe this is why we work together so well? This video is for one of DOT's best striper drivers in the state. He has been on the crew over 20 years, and  he has driven striper the  longest in State, as well. He is one of the younger members on the crew but will be a grandpa this fall. He has driven 3 different striper trucks in his career,  and I cannot recall an accident he has been in. Hats off To Pat Medrano- a true Real  Men of Genius.Although I wish you the best on your Lead Tech interviews- I kinda hope you will stay with our crew as driver, a bit longer.



Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy 4th Of July

Happy 4th of July. Safety should  not be the topic for today; but The 4th is rated #1 most dangerous weekend for highway accidents (due to drinking) and far too many fireworks accidents. This video is an example of a looser, and still trying to figure out his safety equipment (PPE) he is using? At least the camera guy knows to stand back.When I was on council, I actually supported  a ban on fireworks during the driest time of year for us. (it failed to pass) Since then I have come to realize that personal responsibility is needed and is lacking. Don't let your mind take a vacation today, be safe and  Have Wonderful 4th of July
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Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Ohio Taser

I have the highest  respect for Police Officers and perhaps lowest respect for those who choose to  drink and drive. I once wanted to be a State Trooper- but maybe in watching this video- I am glad I did not? They work some odd hours and deal with some strange people. Please do not Drink and Drive.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Having A Bad Day?

Yesterday it was 101 around noon between Vantage and  Mattawa where we were working. It was a good day. I thought I would post this commerical since today it supposed to get even warmer today. Some commercials do not need any talking or language to make a point. "This one is called funny car commercial, but I think it shows someone may be having a bad day? I hope you have a good day today and remember, winter is only six months away.





Monday, July 1, 2013

Virtual State of the Union 2013

On this Holiday weekend, I would like to thank those who fought for my freedoms and continue to fight for those freedoms. I respect your opinion on Guns-that is  your right.  I actually do not own a gun as I post this- that is my right. I hope you will take time to listen to this 6 minute video addressed to congress. Bill Whittle gives you both sides of the issue, something you seldom will hear from the media. It reminds us of our rights, and privilages to share our views with our elected officials- in fact it could be our duty for our grandchildrens sake.