Sunday, December 29, 2013

Getting into Trouble at Church

I was raised in church, we would attend 3 times a week in fact, so I can relate to Bob Smiley today as he talks about getting into trouble at church. I am a grown up now, and I still get into trouble at church?...I am glad God has a sense of humor.
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’
Little Johnny responded, ‘I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.’
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill..’

Thursday, December 26, 2013


It has been a tough year, but we're making it! But not everyone has been as lucky as we have been . . .
1. The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
2. I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
4. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them.
5. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
6. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.
7. Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.
8. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
9. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
10. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
11. The Mafia is laying off judges.
12. BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.
13. I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide hotline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Monday, December 23, 2013

I Shot Rudolph

I try for a variety of videos and this Christmas video falls under humor possibly. I hope your Christmas is full of laughter for you as well as many good memories. Merry Christmas!
A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Christmas Songs

So often we accept songs as scriptural, as he points out today in this video. No one can say this better than with a little humor as Tim Hawkins can. No one knows how many wisemen there were either. And I will quit before I tell you perhaps Dec. 25th is not his actual birthdate.

Wrong Date
When was Jesus born? No, not on December 25. Though Christians had adopted that date by A.D. 336, Christ was born "when shepherds watched their flocks by night." In other words, most likely in the spring.
And no, He wasn't born in the yea
r A.D. 1. The Bible tells us that Herod the Great ruled Palestine when Jesus was born, and Herod died in 4 B.C.-- so Jesus had to have been born not long before that. Blame Dionysiuys Exiguus for this one -- he's the sixth century monk who came up with the idea of splitting history into A.D. and B.C. He just chose the wrong date to do so, that's all.

Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you
know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."

I am happy to say I am done shopping- was going to buy my wife a hankerchief for Christmas, but gave up as I did not know what size to buy.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Pages Turn

December 21st, 2012, around noon, my mother in law passed away.  She is in no more pain and I know she is rejoicing in Heaven.  She accepted Christ at a Kroeze Brothers Crusade in Coulee Dam back in mid 70’s. She was actually born near Colville, Wa. She moved to Columbia Heights in Wenatchee, in 2009. They treated her very well, and I think we gained many friends there as well. Before that, she lived in the same house in Coulee Dam for over 50 years- it was tough on her to say good bye to her two dogs and having to move to Wenatchee. Her stubbornness helped when we almost lost her twice in the Emergency rooms. Christmas will be different yes, but it would be selfish to not rejoice with her being in Heaven. I am glad many of her kids could be with her during her last week- she really rallied that day when they were by her side.  She had 9 kids-all of them turned out great, none arrested or lived off the government, and all have been so helpful and supportive. Two are missionaries presently, one is a children’s pastor, two were waiting for her in heaven, and she had 28 grandkids and 45 great grandkids as well when she passed away; that she was so proud of as well. She liked to read and do puzzles in her spare time and I loved playing Phase 10 and Yahtze with her. I think one of her favorite vacation spots was Oceanside Oregon-  where they had a service for her last summer. We enjoyed going with her on the Lady of the Lake and to Smallwoods, several years ago. She also would attend church with us when she could. Her home was ready for her- mine is still being prepared for me- that is a promise in the Bible. Christians need not say Goodbye, just "See you on the other side".
Irene DuCette, 89, of Wenatchee and a former resident of Coulee Dam, died Friday, Dec. 21, 2012.

She had resided in Wenatchee for three and a half years and in Coulee Dam for 61 years. She had been a homemaker.

Survivors include her children, Cynthia Best of Sagle, Idaho, Roberta Brown of Tororo, Uganda, Africa, Patricia Mahlum of Chaing Mia, Thailand, Gordon DuCette of Oregon City, Ore., Donald DuCette of Bonanza, Ore., Janice Hendricks of Wenatchee and Marian DuCette of Lake Tahoe, Calif; and her sister, Jessie Mangold of Spokane.

A private family inurnment will be held at a later date.

Arrangements are by the Neptune Society.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Don't Sit In My Pew

I am trying to round off  my blogs for the year to even numbers- and noticed I had not posted this one by Tim Lovelace yet. I know seating will be at a premium on Christmas Sunday- so wanted to let you know you can have my seat if needed. See You in Church.
An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says,
"I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!"
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells....
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old dad explained. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!".
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
"Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, you hear me?" she yelled as she hung up the phone.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "it's all set. They're both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare."

Monday, December 16, 2013

Christmas Dinner

During the holiday season I was determined not to gain weight, so I promised myself I would not visit my favorite bakery-cafe for a whole month. I even altered my drive to work to avoid passing the spot.However, one day there was a traffic jam and I forgot and accidentally drove by the bakery. There in the window I saw the yummy pastries I loved. Since nothing happens by accident, I prayed as I slowed down. "Lord, it's up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery." And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so good!
In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me.
Snowman The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or ex
planation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.
She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"
Night Before' Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest,
and all of us seniors were looking our best.
Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;
Our punchbowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.
A bedsock was taped to each walker, in hope
That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.
We surely were lucky to be there with friends,
Secure in this residence and in our Depends.
Our grandkids had sent us some Christmasy crafts,
Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.
The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth,
And from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.
The bed pans, so shiny, all stood in a row,
Reflecting our candle's magnificent glow.
Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop --
Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.
Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,
Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.
The social director then had us play games,
Like "Where Are You Living?" and "What Are Your Names?"
Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,
Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.
Our resident wand'rer was tied to her chair,
In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.
Security lights on the new fallen snow
Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.
Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter
(But we are so deaf that it just didn't matter).
A strange little fellow flew in through the door,
Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.
Twas just our director, all togged out in red.
He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.
We knew from the way that he strutted and jived
Our social- security checks had arrived.
We sang -- how we sang -- in our monotone croak,
Till the clock tinkled out its soft eight-p.m. stroke.
And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds.
While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.
And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.
fore long you'll be with us, We wish you the best!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Church Christmas Signs

Christmas is about traditions and memories and I hope this year is filled with new traditions and new memories for you as well. I hope you can laugh as well and I posted this video for you and some jokes below to help you. Don't be too busy to laugh and have fun.

Actual children's versions of Christmas Carols:
"...sleep in heavenly peas";
"Joy to the world, the Savior rains";
"This is he whom Sears of old...";
"Angels we have heard on high, sweetly singing o'er the plane";
"While shepherds washed their socks by night
1. We Three Kings of Porridge and Tar.
2. On the First Day of Christmas, My Tulip gave to me.
3. He's making a list, chicken and rice.
4. You'll go Down in Listerine.
5. Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap, and hay.
6. Olive, the other raindeer. 

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant. About 4 months would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?"
Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it this time!"

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Silent Night (Drinking & Driving)

It is sad I have an entire label just for Drinking and Driving- these are videos just to warn you not to drink and drive. Even more sad, is that some will continue to choose to drink and drive and will think it is just the other guy I am talking about- Please, Do Not Drink and Drive- any time of the year. (and yes, texting and driving is just as dangerous) I would say more students are killed by drunk driving than by guns.
The driver is safer when the roads are dry; the roads are safer when the driver is dry.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

McDonalds Best Ads

Actually we do not eat at McDonalds that much- but I love their commercials. I probably enjoy Wendys or Taco Bell better, and fast food restaurants are my top choice. Yes, Costco is a good place to eat just after you hit all the food samples.  For the fancy restaurants here, it has to be Olive Garden.  Saturday night  is usually at the bowling alley restaurant with friends.  I seldom do smorgasbords, I enjoy them, but usually leave after eating too much.  And I bet you did not know that I actually worked as an assistant manager for Dennys in Olympia area back in mid 80's. I had to post an application below, that actually got him hired? Wonder how long he lasted?
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida. They hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.


LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.



PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?


DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.



QUESTION: How do you know Santa has to be a man? ANSWER: No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year

Wednesday, December 11, 2013


I love being a Grandpa- I am blessed with six wonderful Grandkids. My youngest is 7 months old and oldest is almost 15. I so miss watching Billy on Friday mornings since I now work on Fridays. Only a Grandpa or Grandma can relate to todays video.
"My name is NO NO but Grandma calls me precious!:
A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside.

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

I was telling my three boys the story of the Nativity and how the Wise Men brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh for the infant Jesus. Clearly giving it a lot of thought, my six-year-old observed, "Mom, a Wise Woman would have brought diapers."

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Always Be Mine

Happy Birthday Trent! I am so proud of Trent.  We drove over Saturday to have cake with him, and to play Lazor Tag with him and his friends in Tukwilla for an early Birthday Party that I got to share with him. I don't know where time goes, seems only yesterday he was born in Wenatchee. This video is actually an old one made several years ago- and I realize that Steve & Annie Chapman wrote it about their son, but the message is the same- "wherever you go, or what ever you do, I will always love You- you can lean on me anytime- you will always be mine...."

The Cost of Raising A Child

-- Author Unknown
The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 and came up with $160,140! That doesn't even touch college tuition. For those with kids, this figure leads to wild fantasies about all the money we could have banked if not for (insert your child's name here). For others, that number might confirm the decision to remain childless.

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into $8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month, or $171.08 a week. That's a mere $24.44 a Day! Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you ever want to be "rich." It is just the opposite.
What do you get for your $160,140?
- Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
- Glimpses of God every day.
- Giggles under the covers every night.
- More love than your heart can hold.
- Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
- Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
- A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
- A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sandcastles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
- Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up!
- You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus.
- You have an excuse to keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars.
- You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnet and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck!
- You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling the wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.
- You get a front row seat to history; to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel.
- You get to be immortal.
- You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.
- You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.
- In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God.
- You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.
ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN... and Your Grandchildren!!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Funny Christmas Commerical

I have an entire label just for Christmas Commercials- and many of my friends think Santa is a nice guy. So for those friends, I am posting this video for you and a short story of how things changed below.  I hope either does not offend anyone or tell you who the real santa just might be today.

What we tell our kids about Santa by Mark Driscoll

'Tis the season . . . for parents to decide if they will tell the truth about Santa.
When it comes to cultural issues like Santa, Christians have three options: (1) we can reject it, (2) we can receive it, or (3) we can redeem it.
Since Santa is so pervasive in our culture, it is nearly impossible to simply reject Santa as part of our annual cultural landscape. Still, as parents we don't feel we can simply receive the entire story of Santa because there is a lot of myth built on top of a true story.

Redeeming Santa

So, as the parents of five children, Grace and I have taken the third position to redeem Santa. We tell our kids that he was a real person who did live a long time ago. We also explain how people dress up as Santa and pretend to be him for fun, kind of like how young children like to dress up as pirates, princesses, superheroes, and a host of other people, real and imaginary. We explain how, in addition to the actual story of Santa, a lot of other stories have been added (e.g., flying reindeer, living in the North Pole, delivering presents to every child in one night) so that Santa is a combination of true and make-believe stories.
We do not, however, demonize Santa. Dressing up, having fun, and using the imagination God gave can be an act of holy worship and is something that, frankly, a lot of adults need to learn from children.
What we are concerned about, though, is lying to our children. We teach them that they can always trust us because we will tell them the truth and not lie to them. Conversely, we ask that they be honest with us and never lie. Since we also teach our children that Jesus is a real person who did perform real miracles, our fear is that if we teach them fanciful, make-believe stories as truth, it could erode confidence in our truthfulness where it really matters. So, we distinguish between lies, secrets, surprises, and pretend for our kids. We ask them not to tell lies or keep secrets, but do teach them that some surprises (like gift-giving) and pretending (like dressing up) can be fun and should be encouraged. We tell them the truth and encourage them to have fun watching Christmas shows on television and even sitting on Santa's lap for a holiday photo if they so desire. For parents of younger children wanting them to learn the real story of Santa Claus the Veggie Tales movie Saint Nicholas is a good choice.

The Truth about Santa Claus

The larger-than-life myths surrounding Santa Claus actually emanate from the very real person of Saint Nicholas. It is difficult to know the exact details of his life with certainty, as the ancient records are sparse, but the various pieces can be put together as a mosaic of his life.

A Gift-Giver

Nicholas was born in the third century in Patara, a village in what is now Turkey. He was born into an affluent family, but his parents died tragically when he was quite young. His parents had raised him to be a devout Christian, which led him to spend his great inheritance on helping the poor, especially children. He was known to frequently give gifts to children, sometimes even hanging socks filled with treats and presents.
Perhaps his most famous act of kindness was helping three sisters. Because their family was too poor to pay for their wedding dowry, three young Christian women were facing a life of prostitution until Nicholas paid their dowry, thereby saving them from a horrible life of sexual slavery.

A Bishop and Saint

Nicholas grew to be a well-loved Christian leader and was eventually voted the Bishop of Myra, a port city that the apostle Paul had previously visited (Acts 27:5-6). Nicholas reportedly also traveled to the legendary Council of Nicaea, where he helped defend the deity of Jesus Christ in A.D. 325.
Following his death on December 6, 343, he was canonized as a saint. The anniversary of his death became the St. Nicholas holiday when gifts were given in his memory. He remained a very popular saint among Catholic and Orthodox Christians, with some two thousand churches named after him. The holiday in his honor eventually merged with Christmas, since they were celebrated within weeks of one another.


During the Reformation, however, Nicholas fell out of favor with Protestants, who did not approve of canonizing certain people as saints and venerating them with holidays. His holiday was not celebrated in any Protestant country except Holland, where his legend as Sinterklass lived on. In Germany, Martin Luther replaced him with the Christ child as the object of holiday celebration, or, in German, Christkindl. Over time, the celebration of the Christ child was simply pronounced Kris Kringle and oddly became just another name for Santa Claus.


The legends about Santa Claus are most likely a compilation of other folklore. For example, there was a myth in Nicholas' day that a demon was entering people's homes to terrorize children and that Nicholas cast it out of a home. This myth may explain why it was eventually believed that he came down people's chimneys.
Also, there was a Siberian myth (near the North Pole) that a holy man, or shaman, entered people's homes through their chimneys to leave them mushrooms as gifts. According to the legend, he would hang them in front of the fire to dry. Reindeer would reportedly eat them and become intoxicated. This may have started the myth that the reindeer could fly, as it was believed that the shaman could also fly. This myth may have merged with the Santa Claus myth, and if so, explains him traveling from the North Pole to slide down chimneys and leave presents on fireplace mantles before flying away with reindeer.
These stories of Santa Claus were first brought to America by Dutch immigrants. In the early twentieth century, stores began having Santa Claus present for children during the Christmas season. Children also began sending letters to the North Pole as the legends surrounding an otherwise simple Christian man grew.
In sum, Saint Nick was a wonderful man who loved and served Jesus faithfully. So, we gladly include him in our Christmas traditions to remind us of what it looks like for someone to live a life of devotion to Jesus as God. Our kids thank us for being both honest and fun, which we think is what Jesus wants

To All My Democratic Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2014, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wish.

To My Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in the year of our Lord Jesus Christ 2014

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Canadian Police Chase

Winter does not start for 13 more days. my winter schedule started officially last Tuesday morning at 5am. I will be working Tuesday thru Friday till March. I got to plow our first snow Friday morning, maybe half inch- barely enough to plow but slick roads. We drove to Kirkland yesterday and roads were great on Stevens Pass but temp. was 2 degrees. Can't imagine how cold it would be without having to deal with Global Warming and all that has been spent on that.  Gotta keep a sense of humor in winter driving and remember to slow down and that the wheels be on the road at all times.

Friday, December 6, 2013

I Have Hope- Dennis

Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath. Thank you for the Birthday wishes-I really don't know what to say, this is the oldest I have ever been. They say Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese?  Others have told me Birthdays are Gods way of telling us to eat more Cake? I thought of playing "Wish I was 18 Again" for a video? Or maybe, "I'm A Nut"? Rather than make a new video, please allow me to post an old video to the song "I Have Hope" by Dallas Holm- one of my favorite songs.  I do not know what next year will hold, but I know who holds the future, and I have Hope and am trusting in The Lord. Its been a good  59 years- I am blessed. As I child I thought I was going to live forever- So Far, So Good.
I would like to share today's devotional with you from Moments Together for Couples by Dennis and Barbara Rainey-
Making the Most of it All - Eph. 5:15,16
Someday when the kids are gone, there will be plenty of ice cream just for Barbara and me. I won't find the can of herseys chocolate on the lower shelf, empty with a sticky bottom. We will return to a small refridgerator and eat on the antique table we used when we were first married.
Cars will be clean again.. The floorboard wondm't be covered with sunday school papers or petrified McDonalds french fries. And gum, legos, matchox cars, doll combs and even fishhooks won't be smushed in the carpet.
Doors will be shut, and I won't have to go through the house turning off every light.We won't stumble over herds of teddy bears, dolls, and stuffed animals grazing or napping on the carpet.
Fewer tools will be lost. No frantic search parties at bedtime for lost blankets. Socks will miraculously find their mates, and the car keys will be right where I left them.
But other things will have changed too.
When the kids are gone, we won't hear the pitter patter of little feet running down the hallway, then feel a warm, wiggly body crawliung into bed and snuggling with us early on Saturday morning.
No more little girl, frilly Easter dresses or first days of school. no winter picnics or log cabin more fishing or hunting trips or wiener roasts for just goofing around with a childish and in mine.
Someday there will be no more handmade Fathers Day cards or wooden plaques tittled "Worlds best Mom". No more crayon drawings, verses and strick people drawn on construction paper and displayed on the refridgerator.
So Until that day arrives, we're going to cherish our moments together. We're going to try to take seriously, but happily the apostle Pauls counsel, "Making the most of your time"
Sticky or not.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

12 Days of Christmas (Drinking)

This morning we had our monthly safety meeting at work. We strive to be safe and list hazards of jobs, but we often overlook the hazards of being hit by a drunk driver. What can we do to avoid being killed by a drunk, since this time of year it seem to rise, as does it when working around 2am in the morning? It seems ironic to outlaw electronic devices, when more people are killed by drunk drivers?  When you drink and drive, you are a bloody idiot and could ruin someone’s Christmas.
There are some things more stupid than drinking and driving, but the list is pretty short

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Funniest Lottery Commercials

Here are some of the funniest videos on Lottery. I am not promoting the lottery, rather am enjoying the humor and laughter. Some say gambling is when one person has to loose so another person can win. Others have said the Lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.
Tuesday night's lottery drawing could win somebody $257 million or more.
If a single winner chose the cash prize option instead of the annuity (and the majority of winners do), he or she would cash a $139 million check, according to the Mega Millions website.
The odds of winning that life-changing jackpot are less than 1 in 175 million, but the statistics will never discourage those who dream of instant wealth.the odds are vastly better that you'll get struck by lighting or die from flesh-eating bacteria than win a big lottery payout.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Mr. Snow Plow Man

Most of you know I made this video years ago- it's become my most viewed video I made on and as well. (under search type in Dennis Hendricks Mr. Snow Plow) Most of you know I work for WSDOT and drive a snow plow truck in the winter. People have been so nice to us, I have had only one person complain to me (as well as to my  boss about me)- and that was a fellow EW city snowplow driver for plowing his city street. I apologize for taking away his overtime and plowing his street.  But other city and county employees are so  helpful and work together with us to keep roads safe. Thanks for your patience and allowing us to do our jobs safely. Safety is our priority and then we must consider the damage the wrinkle of snow can do when it hits something.  Change is hard for some-I remember we had several quit when we were switching over to chemicals instead of sand, over 10 years ago. We also probably eliminated half our crews when we switched to adding wings to our trucks-we heard all kinds of excuses, and some cities still will not try them.  Its fun to watch the debates regarding studded tires and snow burms in center of streets-with "we have always done it that way".   Its even more fun not to be a city councilman and have to deal with that!
Two Feet of Snow in Wenatchee!
 What it looks like from inside my truck on the 4 lane plowing tandem.
Can you see why it is not wise to pass a plow on the right? (Can you see the wing?)

Diary of a Demented Snow Shoveler
December 8 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
 December 9  
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! 
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.  No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor. 

 December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20.  The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!  The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so. 
 December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
 December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. 
 December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. 
 December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. 
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said  they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

 December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think he is lying.
 December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! 
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

 December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I  ever catch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the  snowplow. 
 December 25
Merry    Christmas! 20 more inches of the slop tonight - Snowed in
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave. 

 December 26
Still snowed in. Why the world did I ever move here? It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves. 

 December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes. 
 December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The wife is driving me crazy!!!
 December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? 
 December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his *&%. The wife went home to her mother.
Nine more inches predicted. 

 December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
 January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Little Quartet

Music is a big part of Christmas- and lots of different music styles to choose from. I love southern gospel music and these kids did a good job on this Christmas Song. (J.D.Sumner would have been proud of them.) It is the kind of music you can laugh and have fun with- sadly many of those gospel greats have gone home- but they were my heros growing up and I attended many southern gospel concerts.
This holiday season, in lieu of gifts, I've decided to give everyone my opinion.

Myra was going to the Christmas office party but needed a new party dress.
In the clothing store she asked, 'May I try on that dress in the window, please?'
'Certainly not, madam,' responded the salesgirl, 'You'll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.