The fall sports season starts soon- I never have been a big sports fan. My sports is limited pretty much to seeing the grandkids in hockey, soccer, baseball and wrestling. Someone sent me this video called Why Women hate Sports- I will let you decide if its true.
Q: What kind of tea do football players drink?
A: Penaltea
A: Penaltea
Q: Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?
A: They needed a little team spirit.
A: They needed a little team spirit.
Q: Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head.
A: The one with the biggest head.
Q: Where do football players dance?
A: At a foot ball!
A: At a foot ball!
Q: What do football players do when they get overheated?
A: They get closer to some of the fans.
A: They get closer to some of the fans.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
A: His heart wasn’t in it
A: His heart wasn’t in it
Q: What did the receiver say to the football?
A: Catch you later.
A: Catch you later.
Q: What is harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath!
One man to another, "My wife thinks I put football before marriage, even though we just celebrated our third season together."
A: Your breath!
One man to another, "My wife thinks I put football before marriage, even though we just celebrated our third season together."
My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. He had just turned 75 and was feeling a little wistful. “You know,” he said to our grandson, Nick, “it’s not easy getting old. I guess I’m in the fourth quarter now.”
“Don’t worry, Grandpa,” Nick said cheerily. “Maybe you’ll go into overtime.”
On eBay, a group of four Super Bowl tickets is going for $51,000. Although to be fair, that price includes a full-body rubdown from stadium security
"CHURCH FOOTBALL"- THE OTHER SUNDAY SPORT - Dictionary
QUARTERBACK SNEAK: Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
DRAW PLAY: What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
HALF-TIME: The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.
BENCH WARMER: Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit. BACKFIELD IN MOTION: Making a trip to the back (rest room or water fountain) during the service.
STAYING IN THE POCKET: What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
TWO MINUTE WARNING: The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
INSTANT REPLAY: The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
SUDDEN DEATH: What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
TRAP: You're called on to pray and are asleep.
FEX DEFENSE: The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life. HALFBACK OPTION: The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
BLITZ: The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
END RUN: Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
On eBay, a group of four Super Bowl tickets is going for $51,000. Although to be fair, that price includes a full-body rubdown from stadium security
"CHURCH FOOTBALL"- THE OTHER SUNDAY SPORT - Dictionary
QUARTERBACK SNEAK: Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
DRAW PLAY: What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
HALF-TIME: The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.
BENCH WARMER: Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit. BACKFIELD IN MOTION: Making a trip to the back (rest room or water fountain) during the service.
STAYING IN THE POCKET: What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
TWO MINUTE WARNING: The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
INSTANT REPLAY: The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
SUDDEN DEATH: What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
TRAP: You're called on to pray and are asleep.
FEX DEFENSE: The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life. HALFBACK OPTION: The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.
BLITZ: The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
END RUN: Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
No comments:
Post a Comment