Friday, October 21, 2016

Driving In Winter Wonderland


I hate to see my friends head south for the winter- that is one of the drawbacks of Winter.  Two months from today, Winter begins on the calendar. No one knows what this winter will be like- The Farmers Almanac calls for a normal winter, whatever that is? So todays video is for you who will miss out on Driving in Our Winter Wonderland- and it is also for those who forget what winter driving looks like around here. I am looking forward to snow.

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Winter is Coming- Knit faster.


Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the devil came to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot.
Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us."
The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand what was going on. The punishment down here was supposed to be the unbearable heat. It wasn't working on these two. He had to ask again what the deal was. Sven replied, "We are Minnesotans and we just got over a freezing winter. This is really great for Olie and Me.
A light flickered in the Devil's mind. He went to the thermostat and turned it off. He thought if the heat wasn't a punishment, maybe he'd give them some freezing temperatures. A little while later the Devil came back to check in on Sven and Olie only to find them cheering and giving each other high fives, happier than ever! The Devil questioned them on their actions and Sven said happily, "Back home they always said, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl when Hell freezes over!!!"

Bob and his wife live in Toledo, Ohio. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..........." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Puns about winter are snow joke.

After the winter thaw, the entire neighborhood was able to start a slush fund for next year.

Do birds know where they're going when they fly south for the winter or do they just wing it every time?

After winter, the trees are relieved.

In the winter my dog wears his coat, but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.

2 months from today Winter begins- I do not know when the first snow will hit nor do I know what this winter will be like. However- based on my past winters- Here is what you can expect;
1. Expect your commute  to take longer if it is snowing out- even longer if you are in an accident.
2. Expect your all wheel drive to take the same distance to stop as a 2 wheel vehicle in snow.
3. Expect your friendly snowplows to drive at 35 or less when plowing or applying salt/liquid.
4. Expect to be covered in snow and blinded if you pass a snowplow on right.
5. Expect bridges, and shaded areas to be icy when rest of roads may be fine.(road temps can vary greatly from air temperatures and elevation makes a big difference
6. Expect temperatures to drop just as sun comes up each day and at night or overcast.
7. Expect the worse if you are standing on a icy road. Warn vehicles if your car is in roadway and/or try to get it off the hiway if no one is injured. Call 911, take photos, exchange information , but do not cause more accidents. Fusee's or flashing lights mean slow down more!
8. Expect higher chance of sliding if your tires are bald. Even studs may not improve your chance of not sliding on bare pavement.
9. Expect salt and calcium chloride on roadways in winter. Washing your car occasionally when temperatures are above freezing is cheaper than replacing a wrecked car.
10. Expect snowplows to plow center of roads first. roads are tapered and we must uncover that yellow line. we are not playing chicken with you- give us some room and its ok to follow in lane we have plowed. It is ok to follow us, our routes are normally about a half our long and we will turn around. The salt we put down takes awhile to work. We want you to get home safely at the end of the day as well as we do.

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