Friday, October 11, 2013

Worship Leaders Worst Nightmare

 I admire people who can sing and can lead Worship- that is not my talent or calling. I admire this guy on this video- he keeps praying even when things are falling apart all around him. That is the kind of guy I want to pray for me. I hope you can find time to be in Church somewhere this weekend.

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, ''You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.' The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, ''And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony.'' ''Thank you, Father,'' answered the young priest. ''I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth.'' ''All of these ideas have been well and good,'' said the elderly priest, ''But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional.'' ''But, Father,'' protested the young priest, ''my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!'' ''Yes,'' replied the elderly priest, ''and I appreciate that. BUT -- the flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell' cannot stay on the church roof!!
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," four guys stand up.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... on the opening day of deer season the church is closed.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of"
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a 1956 Chevy pick up truck.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... "Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
You know You're in a Redneck Church if ... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear."

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