Someone sent me the new version of ABC's for seniors- not sure why they sent it to me? So for you seniors out there- I am posting those below. And in keeping with my desire to see you laugh and smile- I am posting an old video I simply call Mrs. Hughes. Have A good day and don't forget to smile and laugh today!
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
that used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
but let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now The Alphabet:
A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac?
D is for dental decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L 's for libido, what happened to sex? M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow; V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W for worry, now what's going 'round? X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!
"You Know You're Getting Old When....."
* Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
* A fortune teller offers to read your face.
* Everything hurts; and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
* Your back goes out more than you do.
* You feel like the morning after when you haven't been anywhere the night before.
* You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
* Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
* Your children begin to look middle aged.
* Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
* You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
* It takes twice as long to look half as good.
* You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
* Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
* You and your teeth don't sleep together.
* Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
* You regret all those mistakes you made resisting temptation.
* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
* You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
* You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
* Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
* Your ears are hairier than your head.
* You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
* You shop for health insurance the way you once shopped for a new car.
* Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
* You're 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, and 106 around the golf course.
* You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
* You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
* You don't remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheat.
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