Romantic Men

I do not drink beer. This commercial is borderline but does have some humor to it and tells you several more reasons  why I do not drink beer. 

A pig walks into the bar and asks for a pitcher of beer. He drank it all then asked the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".

Another pig walks into the bar and orders 2 pitchers of beer. He finishes them off and then asks where the bathroom is. The bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".

Another pig walks into the bar and orders 3 pitchers of beer. Finishing them off he was just going to stand up when the bartender asks him "well aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" The pig replies " no, i am going to go wee wee wee all the way home."

"It's true, alcohol kills people. But how many are born because of it ?"

"I was drowning my sorrows but they learned to swim."    

A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"

Girl in A Bar

I have 93 commercials posted in my blogs. Here is a leather commercial that is suggestive but humorous. Reminds me of Proverbs 6.

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, then discovers he has to go to the bathroom. To stop anyone stealing his drink he puts a note on it saying, ‘I spat in this beer.’ When he returns he finds another note saying, ‘So did I!’

Three More Reasons to Stop Drinking

It seems there are commercials to try to get you to drink, and just a few to have you stop drinking. I prefer to not even try drinking. Life is too short to waste on drinking. Sometimes humor can say things that cannot be said otherwise- certainly am not telling you what to do with your life.

Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!

A hangover is the wrath of grapes

A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a soothing voice say "nice tie!" Looking around he noticed that the bar was empty except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar. A few sips later the voice said "beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over,"Heyi must be losing my mind," he told the bartender. "I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here other than us." "It's the peanuts" answered the bartender. "Say what?" "You heard me" said the barkeep."it's the peanuts they're complimentary."

A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. the bartender says you can come in, but don't start anything.

A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asked. "No." A few minutes later the dog took a huge chunk out of the man's leg. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" he said indignantly. The other guy replied, "That's not my dog."

A man walked into a bar holding an alligator. He asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" The bartender said, "Yes, we do!" "Good," replied the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my alligator."

How Men Screw up Romance

As you can see, commercials are a big part of my blogs. In fact I have 8 different labels of commercials and maybe 110 commercials out of 799 blogs. A Hanon McKendry survey found that 56 percent watch the Super Bowl for the advertisements. With an average 108.7 million people watching the game, it's no surprise that advertisers shell out $3.4 million per 30-second TV spot. Now if I only could get a cut of that revenue? I guess I don't have that many viewers either.

HORMONE THERAPY

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! Here are possible questions he could ask, arranged from dangerous to ultra safe:

DANGEROUS -- What's for dinner?

SAFER -- Can I help you with dinner?

SAFEST -- Where would you like to go for dinner?

ULTRA SAFE -- Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS -- Are you wearing that?
SAFER -- Gee, you look good in brown..
SAFEST -- WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE -- Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS -- What are you so worked up about?
SAFER -- Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST -- Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRA SAFE -- Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS -- Should you be eating that?
SAFER -- You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST -- Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE -- Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS -- What did you do all day?
SAFER -- I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST -- I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE -- Here, have some more chocolate.

Remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Pepsi Commerical

Perhaps this beverage commercial should be filed under safety for some of the dumb things done, but will post it under beverage for its humor. I have refrained from diet pops but otherwise pop is pop to me and what ever is on sale is fine with me. My wife prefers pepsi she says? Actually we both are on a diet and the preferred drink now is, Water.

Q: What do you call a person on a diet who loses twenty-five pounds in just one month?

A: A liar.

Two overweight women were walking home from work, and they began talking about their schedule of activities for the evening. "I've got an idea" said one. "Let's flip a coin. If it lands on heads, we'll go get a cheeseburger. If it lands on tails, we'll go to get a pizza. And if it lands on its side, we'll go to the gym to work out.

Dieters are very "NARROW-MINDED."

Diets are for people who are THICK and tired of it.

Q: WHO KEEPS TRACK OF THE COOKIES WE EAT?
A: THE KITCHEN COUNTER.

I'M ON A GRAPEFRUIT DIET. I EAT EVERYTHING BUT GRAPEFRUIT.

LORD, IF I CAN'T BE SKINNY, PLEASE MAKE ALL MY FRIENDS FAT!

HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE GARLIC DIET?
YOU DON'T LOSE MUCH WEIGHT, BUT FROM A DISTANCE YOUR FRIENDS THINK YOU LOOK THINNER.

DIETING IS NO PIECE OF CAKE!!!

 I KEEP TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT IT KEEPS FINDING ME.





Pepsi Soccer

I am thankful my kids enjoy sports- I guess that was never my calling even though I enjoyed baseball and basketball in grade school, and my attempt at track in Jr. high was short lived. I enjoyed watching my kids in sports and the grandkids games are so much fun. Tonight I will watch Cody play hockey, and wish I could watch Trent play Basketball on Saturdays. Summer brings Soccer games, and thus this commercial by Pepsi on Soccer Heroes.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt ...tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Funny dog Food Commercial

I think I could devote an entire label  to just animal food commercials- there are some pretty good ones out there. check out this ping pong dog food commercial.

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious, but she continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the pet store again, and the parrot once more said, “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store to complain. The store manager apologized greatly and promised he would make sure the parrot didn’t say it again.
The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. “Hey, lady!” it said.
“Yes?”
“You know.”

Satin Sheets

I remember a country song called Satin Sheets- made me want to try them- I did and did not like them- my covers kept sliding off the bed and they can be cold in the winter. Some say they are expensive as well? I am not trying to be political, but obamacare seems like satin sheets to me- some may like it, but please do not force me into it- I don't like it. And some say its may be more expensive as well. It is too slippery for me.

Today is Earthquake Preparedness Day at 10:17AM. (This has nothing to do with the budget or Obamacare)

Funny Pepsi Commercial

 

I can still remember when 25 cents would buy you a soda in a pop machine. I can also remember when gas was 27 cents a gallon and 3.00 would fill my tank of my vw bug. But then I hear this is last year of the VW Bus.  It is hard to argue with a machine and the machine usually wins.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of Pepsi?

A: He was lucky it was a soft drink.

A man notices a blonde sucking on the bottom of a Pepsi can.

Curious, he asks her what she's doing.
"Don't you know! It says for best taste drink by date on the bottom."

I thought I was drowning in Pepsi, but it was only a fanta sea.

I have a job crushing Pepsi cans. It's soda pressing

Your Cheatin Heart

In 1996 Pepsi came out with this commerical to the country song called Your Cheatin Heart. I thought it was cute- I personally will drink any pop, I am not sold on coke or pepsi- I am trying to stay away from diet pops- actually a root beer float sounds good right now with the temperatures outside. I am thankful our work trucks have Air in them.