Copper Clappers

Jack Web and Johnny Carson did a comedy skit back in 1968 called Copper Clappers.  I needed a good laugh today to start my day out, so I posted this video. I also am posting a page or so from my 188 page Bloopers Joke Book below for you who cannot view the video.

Stock Market Headlines

Helium was up, feathers were down.

Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were upsharply.
Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue reached a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market