Amazing Grace

I am so thankful for my pastor and the other pastors who have influenced my life. Pastor Jerry Beebe has been my pastor the longest- 26 years and still going. We have also had Ron Masters, Rick Ross, Ron Hastie, George Smith, Leif Malmin, Carl Smith, Harold Hanson, Floyd Earlywine, Paul Kial, and several others while growing up. Then you must count the many associate pastors who spent so much time with me as well-yes, and most men cannot say they are married to a childrens Pastor! wow-God knows I am still a kid. Now she has really influenced my life! (she did not think it funny when I told her she could offically marry me if I ever got married again) She has been a pastor for  only 22 years and makes me a PS. I want to say "Thank You to my Pastors and May God Richly Reward You." Everyone of my pastors are still faithfully serving the Lord or are now sitting in his presance! What great examples. 

My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two weeks took them out. I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there he saw a sign that read, "For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."

A preacher's young daughter noticed that her father always bowed his head and closed his eyes for a few seconds before he went to the pulpit to preach. When she askes him why he did that, he explained,"I'm asking God to help me preach a good sermon. His daughter thought about it for a minute and said, "Well daddy, Why doesn't he do it?"

What do they call preachers in Germany?

German Shepherds

The new preacher moves his things into his new office and comes across the former pastor, taking his items out. The former pastor says, "I left three envelopes in your desk. If you have any trouble, open them." Well, of course the new preacher thinks he will never have to use them, but in his youthful enthusiasm, he tries to change the order the kids march in during Vacation Bible School. Well, this makes the workers absolutely furious and there is a lot of ugly talk about the new pastor. He remembers the envelopes and opens the first one. It says, "You haven't been here long, but you decided to make a change in the Vacation Bible School; now everyone is mad. Tell everyone that the former preacher had told you this was how you preferred to do it." So the young preacher did that and it worked well.

He had been there about a year and a half when he tried to change the deacon position from being a life-long job to a position that rotated annually. Well, this made the deacons really mad, and they were the ones who made his salary recommendation. So he went back to the drawer and got the second envelope: "You did something to make the deacons mad and there's talk of replacing you. Tell them this is the official denominational policy; that you thought they wanted to comply, but it doesn't make you any difference what they do." He tried this, and again it worked great.

You guesed it. After three years, he finally told the women's organization that they were going to have to open the kitchen so that it could be used without a representative from the women's group being present. This put the women's organization in open revolt. So he went back to that third and final envelope: "You've been here about three years and you finally got the women's organization mad. The only thing to do is prepare three envelopes ... "

A clergyman awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard. He had no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it. So, he called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other agencies, but no one seemed able to help him. In desperation, the good reverend called the mayor and asked what should be done. The mayor must have been having a bad day. "Why bother me?" he asked. "You're a clergyman. It's your job to bury the dead." The pastor lost his cool. "Yes," he snapped, "But I thought I should at least notify the next-of-kin