More Than Anyone Can

Children are so precious! They give us hope and opportunity to change this world. We have been blessed with six wonderful grandchildren and three children who are now grown up. I actually made this video several years ago to the Peter, Paul and Mary song called "More Than Anyone Can." At least I think that is the name of the song.

Reasons why children can brighten our day....

1) NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mummy, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a reception class child handed his teacher a note from his mum. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..'

3) KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the tomato ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. 'Mummy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's changing room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE : 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at a primary school, the constable was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at the officer's uniform, she asked, 'Are you a policewoman? Yes,' was the answer, whilst she continued writing the report. 'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' was the reply. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot forward, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE : 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my canine partner, Johnson, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.

'It sure is,' I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What did he do?'

7) ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly house-bound residents, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walking frames and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'

'And why not, darling?'

'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton wool then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

'Mummy, mummy, look what I found!' he called out in a voice full of wonderment.

'What is it darling?', I asked.

With astonishment in his voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!