Senior Moments

Some people are afraid to get old- I find it more exciting every day and lots of fun. I thought I needed a category on ageing- only to discover I already had 10 videos in that label. It took me 10 minutes to find this video that I wanted to post today that someone sent me several months ago. And if you wonder why I label my blogs- its so I can find out which ones I already posted. Don't feel sorry for me- your turn is coming- I remember in the 2nd grade learning about the explorer who was looking for the fountain of youth almost 300 years ago-If he could not find it, why should I even bother looking?

The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.

The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

I've sure gotten old. I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!

The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..."
The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease."
"Good heavens! What's the good news?"
"You can go home and forget about it!"

Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.

“Yes,” says Sally, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”

“But Larry’s still alive.”

“I know, but his hair is gone.”

Old is when…your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot

Old is when…your wife says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Honey, I can’t do both!’

Old is when…going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

Old is when… an ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to pee.

Old is when…happy hour is a nap.

Old is when …things you buy now won’t wear out.

Old is when …you’re on holiday and your energy runs out before your money.

At the urging of his doctor, an elderly man moved to the deepest countryside. After settling in, he met a neighbour who was also an older man. ‘Say, is this really a healthy place?’ ‘It sure is,’ the man replied. ‘When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed.’ ‘That’s wonderful!’ said the newcomer. ‘How long have you been here?’ ‘I was born here.’

Two old gents and their nurse were sitting on the lawn of the nursing home enjoying the afternoon, when a little bird flew over and dropped a load on the bald head of one of the old men. The nurse got all flustered and said, ‘Don’t you go anywhere, I’ll run in and get some toilet paper,’ and off she goes. The two looked at each other and one of them said, ‘Are we crazy or is she crazy? By the time she gets back with the toilet paper, that bird will be a half a mile away.’

His forehead’s so wrinkled he can screw on his hat.