Bumper Stickers

 Although I avoid bumper stickers on my cars, I needed some humor today and bumper stickers can fit that category at times. Someone said the greatest thing about the cash for clunker program is that it got all the cars with Obama bumper stickers off the road.

Bumper  Stickers:

Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Don't wash this vehicle - Undergoing scientific dirt test
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Keep honking, I'm reloading
He who laughs last thinks slowest
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
I is a college student
I souport publik edekasion
If you think education is expensive, Try ignorance
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Never get into an argument with the schizophrenic person and say, "Just who do you think you are?"
When she told me I was average, I figured she was just being mean.
Hire the Handicapped...Were fun to watch!!
STUPIDITY should be Painful
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Atheism is a non-profit organization.
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
Protected by .357 Magnum 3 days a week. You guess which 3
Fight crime - Shoot back
Ever seen an UZI fired from a car window?
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
I got this motor home for my wife. Best deal I ever made
I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
My Wife's other car is a broom!
I brake for no apparent reason
I don't brake.
Warning! I brake for hallucinations
Honk if you love me
Honk if you're horny
Honk if you are just a honker
Honk all you want, I'm deaf
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Nothing to lose (on an old rusted out Pontiac)
Don't follow me, I'm lost
If you can read this sticker, I can slam on my brakes and claim damages from you
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
Talk is Cheap - until you hire a lawyer.
Forget the Flag. Burn a Politician.
I love my country. It's the government that pisses me off.
Don't be stupid. We have politicians for that.
Nothing political is correct.
First Hilary, then Jennifer - now us
Do you trust a government that doesn't trust you with guns?
Buy American while there is still time
The road to hell is paved with republicans
The road to hell is paved with democrats
Empty the prisons - Make room for congress
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
You'll need to know my name. You'll be screaming it later.
I can hold my own. But I'd rather hold yours.
Discourage Inbreeding - Ban Country Music
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Unless you're the lead dog, the view doesn't change
Dogs think they're human. Cats think they're gods.
I still miss my wife, But my aim is improving
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him/her sleep.
What part of "No" don't you understand?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Why be difficult - Be impossible
I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
The first boat people were white
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
Procrastinators Unite!... Tomorrow
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
My reality check bounced
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most
Are you stoned or just stupid?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory
If the music's too loud you're too old
Chicken Little was Right!
Born to Shop
We're Spending our Kids Inheritance
If you're rich, I'm single
I want to die in my sleep like grandpa. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car!
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
I am not a bum - My wife works
I am not unemployed I am a consultant
A good day is when the shit hits the fan and I have time to duck.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician
Humpty Dumpty didn't fall...he was pushed.
Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.
Oh sure. But what's the speed of dark?
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Don't miss today worrying about tomorrow.
I think therefore we have nothing in common.
Computers help us to do stupid things faster.
If you always take time to stop and smell the roses...sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
All men are idiots....I married their king
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!