I do not drink beer. This commercial is borderline but does have some humor to it and tells you several more reasons why I do not drink beer.
A pig walks into the bar and asks for a pitcher of beer. He drank it all then asked the bartender where the bathroom is. Bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".
Another pig walks into the bar and orders 2 pitchers of beer. He finishes them off and then asks where the bathroom is. The bartender replies "down the hall and to the left".
Another pig walks into the bar and orders 3 pitchers of beer. Finishing them off he was just going to stand up when the bartender asks him "well aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" The pig replies " no, i am going to go wee wee wee all the way home."
"It's true, alcohol kills people. But how many are born because of it ?"
"I was drowning my sorrows but they learned to swim."
A man walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Now the problems start!"
Thanks for putting up with my posts/blogs, and for your comments. There are many topics I do not have the answers to; but I know who to turn to for the answers. This video has a powerful message without any photos or spoken words. check it out. May you turn to Jesus Christ for Life's answers and for hope.
Many of you just watched EV Hill "preach his wife's funeral" blog, and were touched by it as I was. I came across this message by him called God Is- it is actually part 1 of 3 but I wanted to post part 1 to update you on how he handled his wife's death and his remarriage. Perhaps I cannot relate to any of these sermons, but I can trust God, and I enjoy his humor in this sermon. It is also probably one of his last sermons before his death. I enjoy his style of preaching. If you want to hear the remaining parts, you can click here, they are only 10 minutes each. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Uj9YXDVdcc part 2 of 3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJXmVV02IjA part 3 of 3
11 ways to comfort someone who’s grieving
If you have a friend or relative who is grieving, it can be hard to know how to console him or her. If it seems that nothing you can do or say helps, don’t give up. You can’t take the pain away, but your presence is more important than it seems. Accept that you can’t fix the situation or make your friend or relative feel better. Instead just be present and offer hope and a positive outlook toward the future. Accept that the person’s grieving will be a gradual process.
It is sometimes difficult to know what to say to a bereaved person. If you find yourself tongue-tied or uncertain of what to do in the face of someone’s loss, here are some steps you might try.
Name names. Don’t be afraid to mention the deceased. It won’t make your friend any sadder, although it may prompt tears. It’s terrible to feel that someone you love must forever be expunged from memory and conversation. (This suggestion does not apply in cultures in which mentioning the dead is taboo or bad luck, however.)
Offer hope. People who have gone through grieving often remember that it is the person who offered reassuring hope, the certainty that things will get better, who helped them make the gradual passage from pain to a renewed sense of life.
Make phone calls. Call to express your sympathy. Try to steer clear of such phrases as “It’s God’s will” or “It’s for the best” unless the bereaved person says this first. Your friend or relative may need you even more after the first few weeks and months, when other people may stop calling.
Write a note. If you had a relationship with the deceased, try to include a warm, caring, or funny anecdote that shows how important to you he or she was. If you didn’t know the deceased, offer your sympathy and assure the bereaved that he or she is in your thoughts or prayers.
Help out. Be specific when offering help. Volunteer to shop or do laundry, bring dinner, pass on information about funeral arrangements, or answer the phone. Pitch in to clean up the kitchen. A lawyer might volunteer to help with the estate. A handy person might button up the house as winter approaches.
Be sensitive to differences. People mourn and grieve in different ways. Religion plays a big role in how death is treated; so do ethnic, cultural, and family backgrounds. Avoid criticizing the funeral arrangements or memorial service. Also, try not to impose your beliefs about death on your friend.
Make a date. Ask your friend to join you for a walk or meal once a week. Be aware that weekends are often very difficult, and suggest an activity. Low-stress activities may be best: watch a video at home together versus going out to a movie. Sometimes just being there without saying much is enough — it may even be exactly what your friend wants.
Listen well instead of advising. A sympathetic ear is a wonderful thing. A friend who listens even when the same story is told with little variation is even better. Often, people work through grief and trauma by telling their story over and over. Unless you are asked for your advice, don’t be quick to offer it.
Express your feelings. If you share your friend’s sorrow, say so. It’s even all right to blurt out that you don’t know what to say. Most likely, nothing you say will turn the tide, but your sympathetic presence may make your friend feel slightly less alone. (One caveat: try not to express your feelings so emphatically that your friend has to take care of you.)
Handle anger gently. People who are grieving sometimes direct angry feelings toward the closest target. If that happens to be you, try to be understanding. That is, wait until well after the person has cooled down before raising your concern in a nonthreatening way.
Keep your promises. If you offer to do anything, follow through. This is especially important where promises to children are involved. Losing a loved one is abandonment enough.
Someone said Lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math? Someone has said if you aren’t happy with what you have, you won’t be happy with that what you want. The odds are 1 in 17 billion for winning the 425 million powerball prize with a $2.00 ticket on a recent Wednesday night. In fact there is a 6% chance that no one would win that powerball winning. I am sure there are people out there who need it a lot more than I need it- I hope they win it and enjoy it. And right now I feel like I am the winner in more ways than one. You think $425 million is impressive? Try $60.8 billion. That’s the amount state lotteries reporting making in the last fiscal year, according to the North American Assn. of State and Provincial Lotteries. That’s an 8.7% increase from the previous fiscal year. And at the pace the industry is going, you can expect those numbers to continue.
Sure the videos are funny and show how you could spend your money- but the reality is that it does not always buy happiness. In 1998, William "Bud" Post III won $16.2 million in the Pennsylvania lottery, only to later wish it had never happened. That's because his brother hired a hit man to try to kill him and his sixth wife (and was arrested for doing so), other relatives made him invest in businesses that never paid off, a landlady made him give her a third of his winnings, and Post "spent time in jail for firing a gun over the head of a bill collector." He declared bankruptcy and, in 2006, at the age of, 66, "died of respiratory failure... at a Pittsburgh area hospital," writes Patricia Sullivan in The Washington Post. Then there's Victoria Zell, who won an $11 million Powerball jackpot with her husband in 2001, only to end up in Minnesota prison after being convicted of a drug- and alcohol-induced collision that killed one and paralyzed another. "This just goes to show you winning the Powerball doesn't guarantee you happiness," said County Attorney Amy Klobuchar.
Abraham Shakespeare won the $31 million jackpot in Florida in 2006. He disappeared in 2009, having spent most of his fortune; his body was found in early 2010 under a concrete slab. John Campanelli writes in The Plain Dealer, "A woman who had befriended him -- and fleeced him for $1.8 million, say police -- has been charged in connection with his murder." Campanelli goes on to list 9 other unfortunate lotto cases, including the sad tales of Willie Hurt, who killed a woman over crack cocaine, and Callie Rogers, who won $3 million at the age of 16 in the UK lottery, and used her money on "vacations, cars, gifts, drugs and even breast implants." Rogers was broke by 2009, "driving a used Volkswagen Golf to her job as a maid and had twice attempted suicide."
In June of 1997, a man named Billie Bob Harrell Jr. took the $31 million Texas Lottery jackpot. At first, all was great: "Harrell purchased a ranch. He bought a half-dozen homes for himself and other family members. He, his wife and all the kids got new automobiles. He made large contributions to his church. If members of the congregation needed help, Billie Bob was there with cash," writes Steve McVicker in The Houston Press. "Then suddenly Harrell discovered that his life was unraveling almost as quickly as it had come together.... everyone, it seemed -- family, friends, fellow worshipers and strangers -- was putting the touch on him. His spending and his lending spiraled out of control. In February those tensions splintered his already strained marriage." And tragically, 20 months after winning the lottery, Harrell committed suicide.
Jack Whittaker of West Virginia was an already wealthy businessman when he won what was at the time the largest jackpot ever by a single ticket, garnering him $314.9 million on December 25, 2002. A chain of awful events followed, including his car being broken into twice, first with $545,000 in cash stolen, then later with $200,000 stolen (and later recovered); a plot was revealed in which two club employees had planned to drug his drinks and rob him; his granddaughter's boyfriend was found dead in Whittaker's home from an overdose; Whittaker's granddaughter was found dead at a male friend's house after being reported missing (the death was ruled an overdose); Whittaker had a DUI; Whittaker was sued by Caesars Atlantic City casino for bouncing $1.5 million worth in checks to cover gambling losses; Whittaker was sued by a woman who had previously sued him for not paying her money (he claimed thieves had stolen it all from him); and Whittaker's daughter was found dead. "I wish I'd torn that ticket up," Whittaker has said.
Everyone is so busy. Some, are too busy to attend church today. I try to keep my videos around a couple minutes. People don't have time to watch my long videos. We have many different styles of presenting the gospel message- but there is only one way to Heaven. It does not change. Not everyone agrees on the style of music they prefer, and I am sure it is the same way with listening to the message of salvation- This young man can reach people with his style that I can never reach with my style. I am glad Gods word never changes. I hope you know my friend Jesus and have accepted him as your savior personally. Preach the word of God, and if you have to, use words.
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include : 1. Loss of direction 2. Foul vocal emissions 3. Amnesia of origin 4. Lack of peace and joy 5. Selfish or violent behavior 6. Depression or confusion in the mental component 7. Fearfulness 8. Idolatry 9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician , JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R .
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus , into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with: 1. Love 2. Joy 3. Peace 4. Patience 5. Kindness 6. Goodness 7. Faithfulness 8. Gentleness 9. Self control Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus .
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
